Providence, perhaps?
by Robe a la Anglaise
Summary: Kagome thought that the past was dead and gone until one day in an unlikely encounter she runs into Sesshoumaru, literally. Kagome learns that the effects of time may be profound, but the essentials remain the same. Modern; SessKag
1. Rush Hour

**A/N: This was indirectly inspired by Janey-jane's "Spring". I liked the idea of Sess and Kags meeting unexpectedly in a crowded place and both being like O~O …. I have plans to turn this into a multi short-chapter fic.**

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**Rush Hour**

Kagome hated rush hour.

There was just something about being crammed underneath a complete stranger's armpit that really brought home how insignificant you were in a city of almost 13 million people.

On top of such humbling situations, Kagome found that ever since her adventures in the Sengoku- jidai she'd had low-grade claustrophobia. It wasn't impairing, but she guessed it was probably half a product of being repeatedly captured and abducted, and half that for a year of her life she'd spent most nights sleeping out under the stars. Modern city dwellers would never be able to understand just how vast and _deep_ the night sky could be. _Should_ be, if it weren't for all the light pollution. When she'd been a child she hadn't thought that there were more than a few dozen stars in the whole night sky.

Kagome shifted her bag on her shoulder and checked again to make sure her cardigan was buttoned all the way up. Today's rush hour was going to be particularly uncomfortable since she'd been too late to the platform to snag a spot in one of the ladies-only carriages, which meant she had to worry about perverts on top of trying to avoid cramming into someone's soft tissue. So far she hadn't been bothered and she let her thoughts drift back in time.

She thought about her adventures a lot. Sometimes ithe smallest, most unexpected things would set off a recollection. Other times it was like a smack in the face.

A couple of winters ago kitty-ear knit caps had been all the rage and she'd spent _months_ double-taking every time someone in a white one walked past her. The jingle of monk's shakujo staffs still made her hands twitch protectively towards her rear, and street festivals with their swarms of people in summer yukatas never failed to bring a surge of nostalgia with them.

A motion in the periphery of her vision caused her to refocus and Kagome realized with dismay that she'd been absentmindedly staring into space right at a late 30-something salary man. He was giving her an interested look and she blanched, defensively pulling her phone out of her bag and pretending to text to avoid spacing out and inadvertently attracting more attention than she already had.

The train slowed as they approached the next platform and the man shifted towards her as people started squeezing towards the doors, ready to get off. He was definitely looking at her now, she confirmed with a quick glance.

Great

From his unflattering leer she guessed he wasn't about to ask her for the time.

Kagome whirled towards the doors. She'd just have to squeeze off and get back on one car down. Or even catch the next train, even if it meant she would be late.

The doors whooshed open and she joined the crush of people pushing to get off. This was one of the many instances being petite and female worked against her. In such a crowd, especially with everyone in a distracted rush, people often simply failed to see her. Today proved no exception - she was jostled about before someone clipped her elbow hard in passing.

She wobbled and stumbled into a man getting into the train car she was leaving, "Oh, excuse me." She said politely. Another person's briefcase slammed into her shoulder and she stumbled again, putting out her hand out to keep herself from falling into the tall man again.

He didn't even appear to hear her, but as he brushed past their hands touched.

Kagome gasped in shock and surprise as the almost forgotten sensation of youki rippled across her senses and she felt her reiki flare up in response.

It was only the briefest of moments; as soon as his skin and hers parted the sensation of youki was gone, clearly dampened by some sort of concealment spell or charm. But that moment had been enough. Enough for her to know that all youkai were not dead and gone from her world, and that not everything from the past had faded with time.

Shaken and hesitant, Kagome felt her heart racing in her chest. Tentative hope held her hostage for only a split second, but it was a split second long enough for the doors to the train to begin sliding closed. A split second that she was too slow as she turned, wide eyed, and exclaimed in desperate excitement, "Sesshoumaru-sama?!"

The doors closed, the train car began to roll away, and two sets of shocked eyes held each other until the train rounded the corner and was out of sight.

-TBC-

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***Peace y'all***


	2. Stakeout

**A/N: Most of the chapters for this are probably going to be about this length. It just takes me too long to write/edit longer stuff. It would never get done. Ever. I envy authors who can write those epic fics. **

**Disclaimer: If I owned the characters I sure as hell wouldn't be writing fanfic about them.**

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**Stakeout**

For three days she haunted the station where she'd seen him.

Every spare moment she could steal away from her classes was spent sitting on a bench and watching people come and go.

At this point Kagome was beginning to doubt her own memory of the experience. Maybe it was the product of wishful thinking. After all, when the well had closed with her on the modern side of it she had searched desperately for evidence that youkai still existed. She'd come up with nothing, but she was stubbornly hopeful and refused to believe that beings who were so stunningly powerful could just be …gone.

But what would Sesshoumaru be doing on a busy Tokyo commuter train? It was the last place she would expect to have run into him. He seemed more the type to patronize snooty restaurants, art openings, and opera performances.

A mental image of Sesshoumaru decapitating a soprano mid-aria for offending his sensitive hearing crossed her mind.

Well, maybe not _opera._

"How is it that are you still alive?"

Kagome, mid-sip, choked on her tea and a good portion of the mouthful dribbled down her front.

"Graceful as always I see."

Too startled and embarrassed to be insulted she gasped, "Geeze, you almost gave me a heart attack."

She did a double-take when finally looked at him. It had _sounded_ like Sesshoumaru, but it _looked_ like any of Tokyo countless salary men. Albeit a very attractive one. Her first thought was that there was some mistake. Then she looked up into his face.

No – that expression of aristocratic distain, even on a human face, let her know that this was exactly who she'd thought it was.

It occurred to her that their meeting several days ago had shocked her so much that she hadn't even noticed what he'd looked like – but thinking back she didn't remember silver hair or exotic markings, just the intrinsic gut-feeling that it had been _him_.

"You look different." She blurted out and gave herself a mental slap. She was trying to _endear_ herself to him, not irritate him. So far he was the only link to her adventures in the Sengoku-jidai that she'd found in her time. She was desperate to connect with him, even if they hadn't exactly been friends in the past, and even if he was not particularly interested in connecting with her.

She took the fact that he'd approached her as a good sign. It was actually more than she expected from him. When she had started her vigil over the train station she'd guessed that _if_ she lucked out and he appeared again she would have to chase him down, and somehow _make _him talk to her. She hadn't gotten to the point where she figured out _how_ she would make him talk to her yet.

But if he hadn't walked up to her and spoken she would have never even noticed him.

As she said a silent prayer to whichever kami was smiling on her he made an irritated gesture.

"You were mortal. You are still mortal. And yet here you are."

Oh yeah, she hadn't answered his initial question. No wonder he looked put out. He probably found it incredibly insulting to be ignored by a human.

"Oh. No. I mean, yes, I am human. Just a normal run of the mill human. Well, I mean, I am a miko, but besides that -"

"I assumed you were dead. Five hundred years ago." He interrupted her ramble coolly, and she _might_ have been offended if it weren't a little flattering that he had actually considered her fate at all. That meant that she had at least blipped on his radar.

"Oh. I guess Inuyasha wouldn't tell you, even after I'd gone home. I'm actually from _this_ time. I was born twenty years ago, here in Tokyo. There's this well on my family's shine grounds - I was born with the Shikon no Tama inside of me – and the Shikon and the well formed a time portal between this time and the Sengoku-jidai."

He was silent once more just staring at her.

Kagome had never been very good with silence, and Sesshoumaru's stares could make you feel like he could read your mind. She began fidgeting with the cuff of her jacket as she grasped for something to say, "I wouldn't have expected to run into you at a place like this."

He blinked.

"You know, the noise, the smells, all the people?" she expanded, gesturing around them.

Sesshoumaru's eyes slid off her and his nose wrinkled slightly in clear distaste as he surveyed the crowds, "It was an unavoidable necessity that day. I usually have a private car."

Kagome smiled softly to herself, "Of course you do. Funny that you just happened to take the train the one day I was late."

His eyes flicked back to her, an odd look on his face that quickly smoothed to its usual indifference, "Hn, '_funny'_. Come."

And without explanation he turned on his heel and began striding away from the train platform.

"Where are we going?" she called after him, struggling to collect her bag while balancing her cup.

"Since you have spilled half your tea on yourself I will purchase another for you."

She fought down the spike of irritation at his ordering her around and assuming she would happily follow him without question, because she was pretty sure that Sesshoumaru, Lord of the West, had just invited her for coffee.

-TBC-

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**Next time: Coffee and conversation.**

***Peace y'all***


	3. Coffee

**A/N: I've decided I hated the previous title of this story. Hope the name change doesn't cause confusion. I still don't really like it, but eh. Oh well.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own 'em. **

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**Coffee**

_Imperious as ever._ Kagome thought to herself, watching Sesshoumaru preside over the coffee shop employees like an emperor over peons. Nothing was overt, but somehow he managed not only to jump the line, but also have the manager himself bring the drinks over as he joined her at the little window table she'd chosen. It wasn't as comfortable as the booth seat nearer the door, but it was furthest from the flow of traffic and afforded at least a small measure of privacy.

"Here you are sir, miss." The glorious smell of chai latte drifted up to her and she inhaled appreciatively. This was one of those fancy places where they added a decorative pattern in powdered chocolate on top of the foam. It was almost a shame to ruin the pretty flower.

There was a long period of silence as Kagome sipped her drink and cast around for a topic of conversation, "Um…sooo, here we are." He settled himself into his chair and regarded her silently, "Thanks for the tea?" one thin eyebrow rose in response, "Okay, to the point then," she sighed, "Of course I'm curious what happened to everyone."

"Hn. How inclusive is 'everyone'?"

Had he always been this irritating? No wonder Inuyasha had always called him a bastard. Speaking of which – of course her hanyou friend was the first person she wanted to ask about, but she shied away. If it were bad news she had to hear about her friends she wanted to save him for last. So maybe she should lean towards potential good news? She had always assumed that if any of the original group would survive to her time Shippou would. She took a deep breath to steel herself, "Well, what about Shippou, the fox kit we took in? Do you know what happened to him?"

"The fox lived with Inuyasha until he reached maturity. He left to train under an older kitsune. He was a vassal of mine for a number of years."

"Really?" Sesshoumaru had let Shippou serve under him? "Is he – um – still around?"

"He left Japan a couple decades ago in pursuit of a female I believe. But he is still living, if that is your question."

Kagome released a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. Knowing her little Shippou-kun was alive made the next question a little easier to ask, "What about Sango and Miroku? Do you know if they had happy lives?"

His gaze grew distant, like her grandfather's did when he told stories of his life before the war, "Your friends married, produced more children than was good for them, and died. I suppose for a human that might be considered a happy life."

"Well, that's just rude." She huffed, amused despite the lingering sadness the thought of their deaths caused.

His gaze narrowed in contemplation, "I almost expected hysterics."

She'd come to terms with her grief over their deaths long ago. If she was honest, _before_ the well had sealed for the final time, "It would be pretty foolish of me to be shocked that they're dead."

"Humans are foolish creatures."

"Yes, we are aren't we?" She grinned cheekily, "I'm glad they had a good life. And in a way, I'm glad I didn't have to see them grow old and feeble. For me they will always be young, healthy, and strong. Although now I get to add kids to the mental image. How many did they have? I wouldn't be surprised if Miroku somehow managed to convince her to have a dozen or so." Kagome laughed, "Hell, come to think of it half of Japan could be his descendents by this point!"

"I know they had at least three. You will have to ask my brother for more details." He watched her carefully.

Something skittered through her, clutching at her heart, "Inuya-" her voice cracked, "Inuyasha's still alive?" she should have been embarrassed by the desperate, pleading tone of her voice, but she just wanted confirmation. Although she'd promised herself she would remain calm and collected she could feel tears threatening to spill.

A muscle twitched in Sesshoumaru's jaw and he looked away, seeming to observe the crowd, "He lives in the country. With his _mate._"

"He has a mate?!"

His eyes narrowed and slid back to her, "Surely you did not expect him to wait 500 years just for you?"

Ouch. That stung. Kagome glared a little, wiping her eyes and forgetting in her irritation to be circumspect, "You don't have to be an jerk about it. Inuyashsa and I realized a long time ago that we weren't cut out to be in a romantic relationship. I was asking because he's my friend, and I want to know what happened to my friends." She frowned but couldn't make it last. She was too curious, "What is his mate like?"

An odd expression crossed his face and that muscle in his jaw twitched again before he answered, "You know her."

"I do?"

"Rin."

It took a moment for Kagome to realize that 'Rin' was the answer and not some random segue. "Wait…RIN? Rin, little sweet Rin, with the flowers and…" she gestured helplessly, "… _**your**_ Rin?"

Sesshoumaru crossed his arms over his chest and scowled openly at his mug,"Not any longer."

-TBC-

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**Next time: Conversation continued**

***peace y'all***


	4. Conversation

**A/N:**** OMG Rin/Inuyasha?!?!? I know, I know - More on how that came about will be discussed later. The "universe" of this story is manga canon up until the defeat of Naraku and the wishing away of the jewel – just that last bit where Kagome returns **_**back**_** to the past when she's 18 never happened. I wanted IY with someone familiar and Kikyo wasn't an option. I actually think Rin/IY is plausible, but more on that in later chapters. :D**

**Also – this chapter is somewhat longer than it should be. I was going to break it, but there wasn't a natural place to put a chapter break.**

**Disclaimers:**** This is a fanwork for entertainment purposes only. I do not own the characters or profit from this work in any way. **

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**Conversation**

In fits and starts they began to have a real conversation. It wasn't easy. Sesshoumaru was still reticent by nature and Kagome found herself tossing out questions about anything that came to mind in hopes of keeping him sitting here, talking to her. Even though he was still reserved, relative to the Sesshoumaru she'd known in the feudal era this modern Sesshoumaru was a talker. She'd been a little taken-aback to find that his referring to himself in the first person was not a fluke. She hadn't once heard him slip into the formal, third-person that had so defined his speech patterns 500 years ago.

Her most recent query regarded his appearance.

"A relatively simple concealment charm." He explained as a contemplative expression crossed his face, "I assumed you could see through the illusion, since you recognized me the other day on the train."

"Oh, nope, you look human to me. The other day our hands touched, and I recognized your youki. I wouldn't be able to pick you out in a crowd like this," she tilted her head, "But when I _look_ at you I can still tell that it's you."

"Hn." He reached out and slid long fingers around her wrist.

Her heart jumped and inadvertently she gasped, her eyes sliding halfway closed. "Sorry," she murmured, "Sensing youki again makes me feel like I'm not broken anymore, like this world isn't quite so empty." She forced herself to raise her eyes and they widened, "Wow." The word escaped her before she could stop it, "I'm glad you kept your hair long."

She blushed at his vaguely amused expression. If nothing else this modern Sesshoumaru was infinitely easier to read than his younger self.

"Sorry, I sort of have verbal diarrhea when nervous." Shrugging ruefully she continued, "But I mean, seriously, your hair is gorgeous. It really would be a shame for you to have chopped it all off."

"Your hair is not unattractive." He said uncomfortably.

Kagome burst out laughing, "Oh man Sesshoumaru, you shouldn't even try to tell white lies. I don't think lies in any form suit you."

He raised one eyebrow slightly and his gaze dropped back to the slim wrist in his grasp and murmured to himself, "Skin to skin contact. Interesting." He released her and slid his hand away as he met her eyes with a question behind them.

She shook her head, "Human again. Although…" she squinted at him, "…it's almost like you're shimmering at the edges. Like a mirage."

The pair lapsed back into silence.

The dull hum of the other coffee shop patrons seemed to grow louder as the silence stretched. Not for the first time Kagome found herself wondering if Sesshoumaru _preferred_ silence or if he was just better at hiding his discomfort than she was. What was going on behind that imperturbable façade?

For her part, Kagome felt like she was having trouble keeping up with all her thoughts. There were so many things she wanted to ask but felt shackled. They barely knew one another after all, and 15 minutes of coffee shop chat after years of separation (_centuries_ in his case) didn't exactly make it easy to open up the difficult, complicated issues that she _really _wanted to talk about.

Kagome snorted and shook her head, "Geeze." She breathed to herself with a grin.

"Something amuses you?"

"Just taking it all in. Especially Inuyasha and Rin. I mean I'm happy, but I still don't know if I've quite got my head around it."

"Hm," he took a sip of his coffee, "I had not thought my brother had the capacity for such sensitivity of understanding."

"What do you mean?"

Cool eyes, a light brown under the concealment charm, regarded her steadily, "He told me that you would be surprised about his mating Rin, but not unhappy. He seems to have an unusually profound grasp on your character."

"Wait," something occurred to her, "When did he tell you that?"

"Two days ago. He also explained your situation at that time."

She gaped at him, and then spluttered, "If you already talked to him why did you give me the third degree?"

A corner of his mouth twitched upwards, "I was curious. To see if you would lie."

Kagome stared at him another long moment before laughing lightly and shaking her head in exasperation, "You know, you really are kind of a jerk."

Even towards the end when the Inu-tachi and Sesshoumaru's group were _almost_ allies everyone had been so wrapped up in Naraku's defeat that she probably hadn't gotten a great read on the daiyoukai. He'd seemed cold and distant, but he was also the only family Inuyasha had, and she'd done her best to encourage her hanyou friend to at least _try _and forge a relationship with his brother. If she were honest with herself though, even her more optimistic younger self never thought it would actually happen. Hearing Sesshoumaru speaking so casually of his half brother, and without murderous intent was…weird. He'd even referred to Inuyasha as 'my brother' without qualification and leaving off entirely the numerous quasi-insulting appellations he'd preferred in the past.

It all came back to Inuyasha.

Throughout this conversation even when she and Sesshoumaru hadn't been talking about him directly it still felt like they were talking _around_ him. Kagome took a deep breath to steel herself and broached one of those 'difficult' topics she'd been afraid to bring up. There was no time like the present after all, and who knew if Sesshoumaru would even be willing to ever see her again?

"Does he want to see me?" she asked quietly. Although _she_ wanted nothing more than to see Inuyasha, it had only been 5 years for her. It had been 500 for him. He'd lived through entire eras of history since the last time she'd seen him. She had to accept the possibly that she was just one minor part of a long, full life.

"He hates the city."

She snorted, "And you don't?"

"I have learned to tolerate it."

Kagome rolled her eyes, "You could just say 'yes, I hate it'." For someone who, when he deigned to speak, was generally unfailingly forthright – he could be oddly evasive at times.

A deep sigh escaped him, almost as if he were resigning himself to the inevitable, "Do not take his absence as an indication of indifference. I believe he wanted to give you a chance to grow and make a life of your own before you saw him again. He is also currently preoccupied with his family. His youngest is struggling to balance her youkai blood-"

"Wait - he has **kids**?"

"He _has_ been mated for nearly 500 years."

He looked bemused as she started volleying questions at him.

"How many do they have? Are they boys or girls? Do they look like him or Rin more? How old are they? Are they going to have more?" she took a deep breath, "Sorry! I'm just… gah that's so exciting! How can you look so 'blah'? This means I'm an auntie!!!"

"Would you actually like answers to your questions or do you enjoy simply asking them?"

"Answers." She exploded excitedly, before almost immediately throwing her hands up in front of herself, "No, wait, I want to be surprised." She worried her lip between her teeth, "Okay, just tell me how many and if they're boys or girls."

"Three. Two boys and a younger girl."

A radiant smile stretched across her face and Sesshoumaru looked uncomfortable.

"Cease your ridiculous behavior woman. And your crying."

"This is happy crying! Don't tell me to stop happy crying!" she prodded one of his hands teasingly before jerking back with a gasp, "Woah, have to remember about that."

"Hn?"

"Just kind of gives me vertigo," she explained, reaching forward to touch the back of his hand with a finger. She stared at him and nodded, "Lord of the West," she removed her finger, "Tokyo business man," she replaced her finger, "Lord of the West," and removed her finger "Tokyo business man."

He smirked and sat back in his chair, "This Sesshoumaru may _look_ like a Tokyo business man, but he is still very much Lord of the West."

-TBC-

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***Next time: Invitations**

***peace y'all* **


	5. Invitations

**A/N:**** for some reason the skeleton for this went down super easy, but fleshing it out was torture.  
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**Disclaimers****: This is a fanwork for entertainment purposes only. I do not own the characters or profit from this work in any way. **

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**Invitations **

Although they had exchanged contact information – hers scribbled on a piece of scratch paper from the forgotten recesses of her purse (at one point it might have been a candy bar wrapper), his an elegant, spare business card – she had expected that it would fall on _her_ to follow up and make sure that she wasn't forgotten, again.

Sesshoumaru had said that he'd call, but Kagome knew men's _intentions_ regarding phones, good as they might be, and their _actions_ regarding phones didn't always align. She had been deliberating on the proper amount of time to leave between their impromptu coffee 'date' and contacting him. She didn't want to irritate him to the point he dropped the acquaintance entirely, or even actively avoided her.

Even taking into account Sesshoumaru's strict sense of duty and honor did nothing to temper the surprise she felt at finding him on her doorstep four and a half days later. When the knock came at the door she expected it to be Namigata-san, the kindly older woman from next door who was always cooking 'healthy' but foul tasting food for Kagome.

So when she'd swung her door open a crack she'd been speechless for a full ten seconds, staring stupidly at the humanized illusion that was the modern Sesshoumaru.

He looked painfully out of place in the dingy hall of her apartment building, glancing around with a mien of thinly veiled disapproval. It wasn't _her_ fault she was a poor college student instead of some rich corporate salary man. Stuck-up jerk.

The flare of irritation at his snobbery helped her find her voice, "Er…Hello Sesshoumaru-sama."

"Hn." His attention shifted to her and the corners of his mouth twitched down.

Was he as displeased with what he saw in _her_ as much as he was with her chosen surroundings? "When you said you'd call I thought you meant on the phone. I didn't realize you were _literally_ going to call on me."

"Hn." his frown deepened. He looked decidedly displeased to find himself standing in front of her door, and decidedly non-forthcoming. Sesshoumaru seemed to be focused on some vague spot on her face – staring without really looking – and a muscle in his jaw twitched as if there was something that needed to be said, but which he couldn't bring himself to say.

"Um, I'd invite you in, but my apartment is sort of trashed," she looked over her shoulder and pulled a face, pulling the door closer to her body to try to hide the view into her living space, "What brings you here today?" Sure the guy was quiet, but it seemed like he was usually a _little_ more direct and forthcoming than this.

"Rin and my idiot half brother want you to come to visit during Golden Week."

Kagome blinked back surprise. Their conversation a few days ago had been so empty of insulting names for Inuyasha that their return took her aback for a moment. Coupled with the invitation…well, it could only mean that Sesshoumaru must have _voluntarily_ contacted Inuyasha and Rin and told them that he'd met her again. The thought of Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha being not just on civil terms, but potentially on _friendly_ terms was mind boggling.

The longer she was silent the more irritated he looked, so she grasped for something polite that would give her a few more seconds to process, "Well, that's very nice of them."

His eyes flicked to hers and he nodded once. An expression that seemed a mixture of relief and dissatisfaction appeared and was gone again in a moment, "You must have plans. I will inform them."

Giving a short bow he turned to leave.

"No wait," she put her hand out and stopped just short of touching his arm, "I don't have plans; you just surprised me that's all. I don't want to intrude on family time."

"I doubt _they_ would consider you an unwelcome addition." He didn't look at her as he said it.

_But you would_? She didn't voice the question aloud.

Kagome sighed, "I also have to admit that I worry it would be a little weird and awkward. I mean, it's been 500 years for Inuyasha. Since he last saw me, I mean."

"You had not seen me in 500 years." He said.

"It's not really the same. You and I were never exactly what I'd call exactly close. 5 years, 500 years, what's the difference for someone you're only an acquaintance to? But 500 years for someone you held so close to your heart…" She tugged on her cuff and shrugged helplessly as that odd waiting silence stretched between them once more.

To Kagome's surprise it was Sesshoumaru who broke it this time.

"Then I will pick you up the morning of the 26th of April."

His abrupt, curt tone made it sound more like he was setting an appointment with the dentist than a vacation to visit old friends and family.

"Oh. Uh, okay."

He gave her another odd look, then turned to leave.

_That was it? _

"Hey, Sesshoumaru!" she called out to him before she even knew she'd spoken.

He turned.

"Since you came all this way just to give me a 30 second message, can I buy you dinner?"

"There is no need. I was in the area."

"You were randomly in _this_ area?" her neighborhood wasn't exactly run-down, but it was one of the poorer residential areas in Tokyo proper, composed mostly of elderly couples and college students. The only reason Kagome was living here was because the commute from the shrine was too long to take every day. There was no reason for someone like Sesshoumaru to have any business around here. She knew that his office was in the Otemachi district, with Tokyo traffic what it was - at least an hour away by car.

He sniffed arrogantly and peered down his nose as if to challenge her to call his bluff.

"Okay, whatever you say. But that doesn't mean I can't buy you dinner." She gave him her most winning smile, but didn't really expect it to work. She wondered if her experiences of the past would _always_ color her expectations of the present – or if she would learn to accept that things, and people had changed.

"Are you ready to go now? Or will I have to wait in this hall since you will not let me into your apartment?" he gave his surroundings another scathing glance.

The unfamiliar and unexpected burble of excitement that coursed through her at his acceptance made her ignore his attitude, "Oh I'm ready, see, my purse is right here," she grabbed the pleated yellow leather clutch that hung on a peg next to her door.

A moment later her lock clicked and she turned towards Sesshoumaru with a grin,

"Well, let's go!"

-TBC-

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**Next time: Dinner**

***peace y'all***


	6. Yakisoba

**A/N: There's just one more interlude after this one before they're off for Golden Week with the fam!**

**Disclaimer: See previous chapters and every piece of fanfiction ever written.**

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**Yakisoba**

"Actually, you just rescued me," Kagome explained with enthusiasm, "– it's why I couldn't invite you in, midterms are coming up and I have notes and textbooks scattered all over the place. It's a mad method I have, but there _is_ a method to it. I was ready to tear my hair out, and you have provided me the perfect guilt-free excuse to get away from studying and get sustenance at the same time." She beamed at him.

"Hn." His expression was the same as always, but Kagome got the impression he was amused despite himself.

"Here we are! I told you it was right around the corner."

Sesshoumaru took in the tiny street-vendor yakisoba stand with fold out tables and chairs scattered around it.

Kagome chuckled in delight, "Uh-oh, I see that nose inching up in the air," she turned a teasing grin on the daiyoukai, "Don't knock it till you've tried it. See the line? This guy makes the best yakisoba in Tokyo. It's an empirical fact."

As they stood in line Kagome chattered along, keeping the conversation light and flowing. She was surprised to find that with only a little encouragement she could get him to talk about his business, about bits and pieces of what he'd been up to for the last 500 years, and he in turn listened attentively when he asked her about her studies.

"It sucks that I couldn't get into a better university – not a huge surprise with my grades from high-school. But even though the school might not be stellar I'm doing pretty well, and I should be able to support my family at the very least, if I need to."

"What do you wish to do?"

"Hmm, well I wanted to be a doctor for a while, but again, with my grades?" she made a dismissive gesture, "Impossible. But I'm thinking of training to go into nursing or something like it. At least it would be something where I might actually be able to put my miko powers to use, although it would have to be on the down-low, obviously." They inched their way to the front of the line, "Is pork okay? Do you want everything on yours?"

"No beni shoga*."

"Seriously? Man I always get extra on mine." She ordered and glared when he reached for his wallet to pay, "I _said_ I was going to treat you to dinner. I was being honest, not trying to bum a free meal off you, though as a college student I should probably be trying. Come on, there's a little park around the corner. We can eat there."

Too hungry to be delicate Kagome tore into her noodles almost as soon as they settled themselves on one of the benches that ringed the green space. A couple of parents with their children and an elderly couple or two shared the area with them and as they ate in companionable silence Kagome entertained herself by people watching and when she'd finished eating she leaned back on her hands and tilted her head back into the breeze. It was still chilly but nice to be outside instead of holed-up in her cramped apartment.

She kept getting the feeling that while she was watching the park's other visitors someone was watching her, but every time she glanced sidelong at her silent companion his eyes were fixed elsewhere. Chalking it up to the residual anxiety being around him caused she addressed the discomfort as she did all awkward social situations – by talking it away.

"So what's the verdict?" she tried to smother a grin as she nodded towards his empty bowl, "Is it tolerable?"

A corner of his mouth twitched, "It's good."

The grin escaped.

After that their conversation seemed to flow more easily. By the time they walked back to her building Kagome felt that almost all the lingering awkwardness had dissipated and she was relating stories about one of her favorite professors with the same enthusiasm she would if he were one of her old high school friends.

"Thanks again for giving me an excuse to get out of my apartment for awhile – and for giving me someone to talk to besides myself," she smiled self-effacingly, "I do love to talk, in case you hadn't noticed. I guess I'll see you in a month or so."

He touched her shoulder as she turned to go, "Kagome."

The touch had been light, barely discernible through her sweater, but so unexpected that she almost dropped her keys and had to fumble a moment to catch them, "Hm?"

"I wish to return the favor."

"Return the favor?"

"Dinner. When are your exams over? Perhaps a meal to celebrate?"

Kagome blushed, "Oh, you don't have to feel obligated, really."

His calm voice interrupted her objections, "When are your exams over?"

"My last on is next Thursday."

"You are free Friday evening?" when she nodded he gave her a once over and a pointed look, "We will _not_ be going to a street vendor. I will pick you up at 7."

-TBC-

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***Yakisoba – stir-fried noodles usually with pork and vegetables**

***Beni shoga – shredded pickled ginger, a common yakisoba garnish**

**Next time: The return favor (Dinner #2)**

***Peace y'all***


	7. Dinner

**A/N: I still find this chapter a little awkward, but working on it more isn't helping right now. Next chapter is the departure for Golden Week.**

**Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers apply. Natch.**

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**Dinner**

Kagome had a sneaking suspicion that he was used to dining at very fancy, expensive restaurants. She might not know brands, but she recognized expensive tailoring and pricey leather shoes when she saw them, and he'd mentioned having a private car as his usual mode of transportation. So naturally she had the most common of female dilemmas: she didn't know what to wear. Right now, at 6:48 p.m., she was cursing Sesshoumaru down to his every last perfect hair.

Kagome growled to herself remembering the impromptu dinner and his departure from last week. He just gave her a dismissive once-over, _told _her they were going to dinner without asking if she _wanted_ to go, and left without a hint of where they were going or what mode of dress would avoid his derision. What a jerk. Appearing over-dressed would be almost as bad as being under-dressed. She didn't want to look like she was trying too hard after all, this was Sesshoumaru, and this dinner was only a returned favor. Not a date with a guy she'd been crushing on or anything like that.

_Where did __**that **__come from?_ Shaking the odd thought from her mind she finally settled on a blouse and skirt combination that could be quickly dressed up or down via accessories and quick assessment of what Sesshoumaru was wearing. In fact she rather liked the idea of Sesshoumaru having to wait a moment while she finished getting ready, just like every other guy on the planet picking a woman up for a date. Or a not-a-date in this case. A friend-date? She wasn't sure they were friends, but acquaintance-date just sounded silly.

As she pondered whether she should change her earrings to something a little less boring than studs there was a knock on the door. She glanced at the clock; 7:00 sharp. Anal retentive jerk.

Sesshoumaru was in casual, well-tailored slacks and a white button-up with the sleeves rolled up his forearms. It was the least formal and the least dressed that she'd ever seen him. For a brief, confusing moment Kagome found herself wishing that the charm was off so she could see the stripes wrapping around his nicely-formed wrists. She _missed_ his youkai markings and colorings when he was like this, and with the deadened youki it was like he was any other human. She shook herself and shoved her thoughts onto something less dangerous, congratulating herself on her sartorial foresight as she slipped on a pair of cute flats, and they were out the door.

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Kagome found herself openly surprised at their surroundings. Nothing about the dimly lit back alley indicated that there was a restaurant anywhere in the area. Granted, the alley was certainly less icky than most she'd seen, clean of trash and decay. But it was still a dark alley, and she was beginning to wonder if Sesshoumaru was having her on.

"Is the restaurant around _here_?" she glanced around at the warehouse entrances and barred and locked doors, trying to keep the disbelief out of her voice.

"Don't knock it till you've tried it," he quoted her own words back to her and smirked at her glare, "you said that you missed feeling youki."

Talk about confusing non-sequiturs, "Um, _yeah,_ but that doesn't explain why we're in an alley."

As soon as she said it they made a sharp turn and, as if out of nowhere, a set of frosted doors flanked by a doorman appeared. Kagome blinked. The doorman bowed politely and swung the door open and she gasped as a veritable _tsunami_ of youki crashed into her. Sesshoumaru was smirking at her again as she struggled to repress her reiki that was flaring wildly, but she was too curious and surprised to be irritated at him, "Is this a _youkai _restaurant?"

"It is. There are a few like it scattered around the city. They can only be found if you know were to look."

"Wow…" she tried not to be too conspicuous as she peered around the dining room. Some were in suits, others looked like a gaggle of office ladies out for a night of gossip, but most were visibly youkai. What _really_ surprised her was how many hanyou were in the room. She even noticed other humans here and there, the youki 'dead' air around them a giveaway that they had no demon blood in them. She turned back to Sesshoumaru and started as he touched something at his wrist and his illusion fell away, the comfortably familiar sensation of his particular youki signature washing over her. She was glad he didn't mention it when she instinctively shifted a step closer to him.

A well-groomed waiter appeared before them with a polite bow, "Sesshoumaru-sama, this way please."

It wasn't lost on Kagome that heads turned as they passed. Sesshoumaru was probably just as well known, if not more well known, now than he had been in the past.

Even though the restaurant was less fancy than she had initially feared Kagome still found herself a little out of her depth. It seemed like half the menu was composed of dishes she'd never heard of with ingredients that could only appeal to youkai. That same nervousness that had manifested before she left her apartment had intensified and she felt stiff and awkward in her own body; self-consciously aware of the stares and her youth and inexperience. After a few uncomfortable minutes Kagome, disgusted with her own silliness, gave herself a mental shake and determined to have a good time. After all, how many 20 year old mortal college students had an opportunity to have dinner with a multi-billion dollar business magnate who was also a centuries old, powerful youkai at a secret youkai restaurant? Kagome smiled to herself. If nothing else it seemed fate was determined for her to have an interesting life. She might as well enjoy it.

"Something amuses you?"

He had been watching her carefully, she realized with a blush, probably because she wasn't her usual chattering self tonight.

She forced a grin and pointed at something on the menu, "This 'French roast' isn't made with real French people is it?"

To her surprise a tension in his shoulders she hadn't noticed relaxed as he raised an eyebrow imperiously, "I had them bring you the cannibalism-free menu."

And just like that they were back to easy banter and conversation.

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Halfway through dinner they were interrupted by a friendly looking paunchy tanuki-youkai with a pretty, plump hanyou on his arm.

"Sesshoumaru!" the tanuki's voice was as large as he was, and half the tables in the room turned to look at them.

Sesshoumaru rose with a short bow, "Ranmaru-san"

"Good to see you again m'boy! I read about the merger in the paper last week, of course. I'd congratulate you if I didn't think it was going to go to your head."

"Congratulations are not necessary," a corner of Sesshoumaru's mouth twitched, "but the recognition is of course appreciated, as usual."

The tanuki peered around Sesshoumaru at his table companion, "I must admit, as eager as I was to congratulate you, Midori and I were more curious to meet your lovely companion. Won't you introduce us?"

"Of course. Ranmaru, this is Higarashi Kagome. Kagome is the Shikon Miko."

The couple stared in clear shock and Kagome, feeling put on the spot, bowed and gave a little wave, "Hello, nice to meet you."

"Charmed my dear," 'Midori' breathed.

Ranmaru struggled a little more with politeness if the faint shocked tone of his voice was any indication, "The shikon miko? But – " he glanced over her again, "it should be impossible! How are you still living?"

Giving a nervous laugh Kagome pushed her hair behind her ear, "A funny twist of fate I'm afraid."

"Well!" He seemed to recover both himself and his voice, "Well! It is certainly a pleasure to meet such a famous miko. A pity the legends don't mention how lovely you are!" He grinned and winked and Kagome was reminded of a kindly, flirtatious grandfather.

Out of the corner of her eye Kagome caught Midori and Sesshoumaru in a silent exchange before Midori stepped forward quickly to slide her arm through Ranmaru's, "Ran – you're embarrassing the poor girl," she admonished gently.

And indeed Kagome could feel her cheeks burning under the attention.

Ranmaru glanced at Sesshoumaru and understanding flashed across his face, "My apologies my love, well, I'll make our excuses and leave you two in peace. I know I would have been quite put out at some meddlesome old codger interrupting _my _time when I was courting Midori." His mate blushed, and smiled indulgently as the pair excused themselves and trailed away.

Kagome stared bemused at the departing couple, "Am I famous?"

"You are known among youkai."

She paused, "They thought we were on a date."

"Yes they did."

She glanced at him "That doesn't bother you?"

He shrugged and took a sip of his wine, "They may think what they wish."

It would only be much later, thinking back on the night, that she would realize that Sesshoumaru had diverted her question, not answered it.

**-TBC-**

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**NEXT TIME: Road Trip**

***peace y'all***


	8. Road Trip

**A/N: So I know its only been 7 chapters but it feels like it took forever to get here, this chapter did NOT want to be written. Next chapter should be up pretty soon. Thanks to everyone who's sticking with me on my first foray into chaptered fic, and for your encouraging words. You guys rock.**

**Disclaimer: I own it all, give me your money!  
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**Road Trip**

He'd shown up looking disgustingly awake and well-groomed for 5:30 a.m. on a Saturday morning. She'd gotten so used to seeing him with the glamor over the past month or so that when he unfolded himself from the car to help her with her bags she'd stared stupidly gape-jawed at his long silver hair and facial markings. In her defense, it was 5:30 IN THE MORNING, which meant that she'd been up since about 4:00 with nerves and last-minute packing and re-packing.

To Kagome's surprise they'd seen each other several times in the month since their 'friend-date' to the youkai restaurant. Usually the meetings were quick, impromptu dinners but Sesshoumaru had taken her once to an art opening at the Hara* (to her surprise he was very knowledgeable when it came to contemporary art and artists) and she'd drug him to a neighborhood street festival after grabbing lunch one day. Almost all the awkwardness was gone from their interactions now and she felt comfortable chattering at him as she would most of her friends while still being mindful his sense of pride.

As they drove out of the city the molten orange-red edge of the sun welled up over the horizon outside her window. Sometimes it felt like her adventures in the past weren't just a few years gone, but separated from her own experience by entire eons. When she'd been in the Sengoku-jidai they'd rarely stayed in villages of more than a couple hundred people. With two youkai, a hanyou, and a girl from the future who couldn't fit in if she wanted to and attracted trouble like flies to honey, the group invited suspicion and fear at the best, and at the worst open hostility and hatred. It was usually easier to camp out in the open away from human habitation. For a year that had been her constant; sleeping under the open sky, or curled against Inuyasha for warmth. Although it had only been four or five years since that was her daily reality it felt like it had been a lifetime since she'd left Tokyo. She was trying to stay awake to enjoy the scenery, but of course Sesshoumaru had one of his huge, cushy, leather-seated luxury cars with heated seats and individual climate control. This car was probably more comfortable than her bed.

In an attempt to keep herself awake she was keeping up a running monologue on school, the shrine, her family and friends, and anything that caught her eye.

"I remember that shrine!" Kagome exclaimed in surprise and pointed at a just-visible torii* peeking out through the trees as they whizzed past, "We battled this massive snake youkai who kept eating the priests. It kept excreting loads of this really gross mucus and we all ended up covered it it. It wasn't poisonous, but it was sticky as hell and the smell – "she made a face just remembering it, "gods I can't even begin to describe it. I had to burn my clothes and wash my hair a million times and Inuyasha could _still_ smell it. That was one of the few times I was glad I _didn't_ have youkai senses. I can't imagine what it must have smelled like to him if it smelled that bad to me." She glanced over at her companion, "Sorry. I know I'm babbling. It's just, I literally had _no one_ to talk with about this. Even though my family knew about my travels, they didn't really understand, you know? And anyone else would have thought I was off my rocker."

"Hn."

His signature noncommittal monosyllable was the only sound he'd made for the past hour. He seemed even more stand offish and prickly this morning than he had been 500 years ago. His shoulders seemed drawn tight and a slight but definite scowl on his face. Maybe the early wake up call was affecting him more than she had initially thought.

"Wow Sesshoumaru," Kagome drawled dryly, "I never knew you were such a great conversationalist."

His eyes slid from the road to her and she stared at her her placidly for a long moment, "Hn."

Youkai reflexes or not, he was still driving and bludgeoning his head with her purse probably wasn't very safe. She settled on rolling her eyes, "Really mature. Souta does stuff like that to piss me off." Kagome cracked a huge yawn, and blushed furiously "Sorry. I was up late and then didn't sleep that well. So I might also be talking to keep myself awake."

"I do not need you to keep me company."

She couldn't quite reign in an eye roll for his benefit, and muttered "Jerk." under her breath.

"Hn."

Deciding to give him the silent treatment, she turned back to the changing scenery as they traveled north. She didn't even realize she was falling asleep until the change in pace of the car slowing and starting down an unpaved road woke her. From the daylight it was clear quite some time had passed. A finely tailored man's jacket had been tucked around her.

Then the realization that the unpaved road must mean that they were near their final destination sunk in and she forgot all about the jacket as all her thoughts were on Inuyasha.

-TBC-

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***The Hara is a modern art museum in Tokyo.**

***A Torii is a 'gate' entrance to a Shinto shrine, although they are not necessarily painted most of the torii we see in images of Japan are painted bright red because its picturesque. **

**NEXT TIME: Reunions  
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***peace y'all***


	9. Reunions

**A/N: I promise this IS SessKag. Its just going to be bits and pieces and hits of romance here and there as the story advances - I'm trying for subtlety (to mixed results, I think). Eventually it will happen though, I promise.  
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***Insert standard disclaimer*  
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**Reunions**

A couple - the man somewhat stocky with short choppy white hair and the woman petite and very pretty in a bright dress and a wide smile - stood in front of the traditional house as they pulled up.

Kagome could feel her heart trying to pound out of her chest. Her fingers were so cold they hurt at the same time her face felt hot. She swallowed and was distantly aware that her throat was dry and that Sesshoumaru was saying something to her.

The car stopped.

Her door opened, but she couldn't be sure if she had pulled the handle or if someone else had, because in the time it took her to draw in one shuddering breath she was on her feet and crushed in a familiar embrace.

"Aw hell woman. Don't cry."

She hadn't even realized that she _was_ crying, but his words only made her release a shuddering sob, and cry harder, burying her face in his chest and clutching her hands in his shirt. He still smelled the same. Still Inuyasha, even though the fabric between her fingers was smooth mercerized cotton instead of strangely warm firerat fur, and even if long coarse hair no longer brushed her knuckles when she wrapped her arms around him it was still _him_. He'd grown, she realized as she judged herself against his height, and it reminded her that for as old as he'd _seemed_ in the Sengoku-jidai, maturation-wise he'd been a teenager just like her.

"Its good to see you again too Kagome." his voice had that extra rough quality it always took on when he was experiencing strong emotion and trying to act unaffected. One fang peeked out from his lopsided grin, and the familiar expression threatened to start her crying all over again, "You grew up good." he said gruffly, giving her back an awkward pat as he stepped back from her.

"Idiot." She echoed his affectionate tone, she wiped her face and tried to compose herself "You did too. Although - " she frowned a little and gestured above her shoulders, " - your hair?"

"Oh, yeah, that." he ruffled the short cut absently and a faint blush colored his cheeks, "Izayoi wanted to play beauty parlor, and hacked off a huge hunk of it before I knew what she was up to."

Kagome snerked, and then laughed outright as his vague embarrassment transitioned to outright irritation at her amusement. And that was all that seemed needed to be said. How foolish all her earlier fears seemed - she'd been worrying about seeing him after all this time, about how she would be received after centuries of separation. But one crushing hug and it rushed back to her that they _loved _each other. They would always fit in each others lives in some way or another. They way they fit together might change, but she would always have a place in his life, just as he would always have place in hers. Kagome couldn't help feeling that at that moment, that a part of her heart she didn't realize was missing clicked back together.

Still on the stoop, Rin was smiling softly at them with bright eyes. Sesshoumaru stood beside her, his back to the reunion, Rin's hand on his arm in what looked like a comforting, calming gesture. As soon as she noticed Kagome's attention, however, Rin dropped her hand and stepped forward.

"Kagome-chan."

"Rin!" Kagome laughed and stepped away from Inuyasha to embrace her, "Look at you! Last time I saw you you came up to about my hip!" Kagome paused and smiled ruefully, "Man, I sound like a geezer when I say things like that. Don't let me get too sentimental or anything."

Rin smiled beatifically, "It is good to see you again Kagome," and the woman hugged her again, taking the opportunity to speak in her ear, "We're so happy you agreed to come up for the week. The kids have heard stories about you and have been beside themselves with excitement."

That perked Kagome's interest, "Where are the kids? When do I get to meet them?"

Inuyasha gave an exaggerated roll of his eyes, "They're supposed to be asleep right now," he muttered, "so of course the little ankle biters have been hiding at the front door since the car started down the drive."

"Inuyasha! Don't call your kids ankle-biters! That's horrible!"

His ears, disguised remarkably well by the spiked hairstyle flattened the smallest amount before a toothy grin split his face and he faced Rin, "Keh, you owe me woman. I _told_ you she'd be scolding me within five minutes of getting here."

"Inuyasha!" The admonishment came from Rin and Kagome in the same breath. They looked at each other in brief surprise before bursting into laughter at the same time.

Inuyasha scowled, "Yeah, yeah, its _hilarious _to have you two teamed up against me. OI! RUNTS! Get out here!"

"OJI-SAMA!" three little bodies wriggled through the door and launched themselves onto Sesshoumaru.

"You three are supposed to be down for your nap." Their mother said in mock sternness as Kagome watched in bemusement as two little boys proceeded to turn the killing perfection and Lord of the West into their very own daiyoukai jungle gym. The little girl seemed content to clutch his leg and look up at him adoringly. Sesshoumaru fielded the children's enthusiasm and attention with remarkable aplomb.

"Come on you lot. You can torture your uncle later." This earned a glare from said uncle, "Come and meet an old friend of mine."

Sesshoumaru deftly caught the two boys, twins, Kagome finally realized, by the backs of their shirts and deposited them on the ground in front of him. The two boys looked about 8 or 9 years old (although Kagome reminded herself that there was no telling how old they _really_ were) and had matching heads-full of charcoal gray, spiky hair and their father's golden eyes. Kagome was a little disappointed not to see puppy ears poking out from that spiky hair, but she did notice that their normally-placed ears tapered to adorably fury points. Something in their alert, expectant expressions told her that they were little hellions.

"Kazuki, Kiyoshi, Izayoi this is Kagome. You've heard stories about her. Iza-chan, let go of your uncle and meet Aunt Kagome."

In response the white-haired little girl, who looked about four years old, clutched the fabric above her uncle's knee and moved to stand half-behind one of his legs. She peered up at the newcomer from her position beside Sesshoumaru's leg with a tentative smile.

Kagome smiled warmly at her and the smile was returned with a brilliant, happy grin. "Hello princess." Izayoi looked like she could be Sesshoumaru's daughter with her long, smooth, sleek white hair. Although with her deep, dark brown eyes and lack of any other youkai features her hair was the only trait that distinguished her as not entirely human.

This was so surreal. Standing here in _her_ era and meeting Inuyasha's kids - such tangible evidence of how much life he'd lived without her. She swallowed heavily. Without meaning to her eyes flicked to Sesshoumaru's and to her surprise there was _understanding_ in his calm, steady gaze. For some reason her heart stuttered at his expression and her breath hitched. Her eyes dropped away from his and she shifted, pushing her hair behind an ear and turning one of her patent mega-wat smiles on her old friend.

"Oh Inuyasha," her voice wavered, "Your family is so beautiful!"

"Ah geeze, here we go again." he took a long stride towards her and grabbed her arm in a firm grip so he could steer her towards the house, "No more crying. I mean it. You're supposed to be happy, so be happy." he ordered tersely.

Kagome had forgotten how fast her moods could swing around Inuyasha. One moment she felt on the verge of tears, and the next she wished that old rosary was still around so she could sit him into next week for being a man-handling, insensitve _JERK._ "Oh for the love of - you _and _your brother - I'm a **girl**; just because I'm crying doesn't mean that I'm not happy dumbass!"

Focused on her argument and then distracted by the swarm of children that followed them into the house in she missed the quiet exchange behind them.

Sesshoumaru rested his hand on Rin's head for a moment before granting her a soft smile. Rin stepped beside him and slid her arm through his, tugging him to follow everyone into the house and nodding towards her husband and Kagome, "They bicker like the twins, don't you think Sesshoumaru-sama?" a meaningful smile tugged the corner of her mouth as Sesshoumaru regarded the pair. When he finally replied his tone was unusually soft.

"Indeed."

-TBC-

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**The boy's names (Kazuki and Kiyoshi) are variants of names that mean "Peace" and "Quiet", which of course Rin and Inuyasha don't have any of with the twins around :D**

**Next time: Explanations (maybe, I'm not 100% settled on order for the next few chapters 3)  
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***peace y'all***


	10. For Keeps

**A/N: How Rin and Inuyasha got together, etc. ! An unusually long chapter (hopefully that somewhat makes up for the delay). I wanted all the chapters to be at least a little funny, but I couldn't really figure out how to get too much humor in this one - ^^;**

**Disclaimer: It's probably a good thing I don't own Inuyasha, it would end up ridiculous if I did.**

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**For Keeps**

Kagome was surprised how quickly anxiety faded and all that remained was comfortable familiarity. Less than 24 hours from their arrival and she and Rin sat companionably looking out through the open shoji and across the rōka* that overlooked the back garden. Breakfast had just finished and they were talking off and on about trivial things as they watched Inuyasha wrestling playfully with his sons. Sesshoumaru looked on – crouched down to Izayoi's level and responding in inaudible rumbles to the little girl's chirping commentary.

So far Kagome had been unable to figure out the best way to bring the conversation around to how Rin and Inuyasha ended up together. She cared, of course, but she didn't want it to seem like she _cared_. Focusing on the children seemed like a potentially mild approach.

"How old are they?"

"The twins are almost 80, and Iza just celebrated her 39th birthday."

Kagome sucked in a sharp breath. She'd expected that they were much older than they looked, but hearing it was still a bit shocking, "Shihanyou* maturation. Wow."

Rin smiled indulgently, looking out at her children, "So little is known about partial-youkai that their rate of aging is a bit of a grey area. Most hanyou mate other hanyou, or even full youkai. Hanyou-human unions are even rarer than youkai-human unions, believe it or not. Add in the fact that youkai aging tends to slow once they're out of adolescence and that different youkai have different 'standard' lifespans - it's all pretty much unpredictable."

"So, it looks like they're aging about one 'human' year for every 10 actual years?"

Rin turned away from the garden to pour herself more tea, "For now at least. In reality all three of the kids could all age at different rates. We think they are actually maturing at about the same rate Inuyasha did, even though he has more youkai blood than they do. But who knows, one day they could suddenly start aging at a normal human rate. Like I said - it's unpredictable. And, since my lifespan is now linked to Yasha's, he and I could possibly outlive them all."

"But, don't you worry about that?" Kagome blurted. She wished she could take the insensitive words back as soon as she said them.

An incredulous look crossed the other woman's face, "Of course I do. But I don't focus on it. You can't live your life on 'might's and 'maybe's - fearing what _might_ happen tomorrow, or the next day, or ten years from now. It was difficult for us to conceive, and -" here Rin almost faltered and a brief shadow passed over her face, "– it was only with medical and health advancements in the last century that I was able to carry to term. So I'll cherish whatever time I have with my children. Even if it's relatively short."

Kagome nodded, feeling very young and out of her depth. She hadn't meant for the conversation to take such a heavy turn. "It's just so…domestic." She indicated the view before them in the garden. Aside from the fact that the participants had such eye-catching coloring, it was a stereotypical familial scene.

Rin's usual happy grin was back, "A little bit of cognitive dissonance for you, I imagine."

Kagome chuckled, "You could say that. I mean, in the past I saw them cut through monsters like they were jell-o." She pulled a face, "Actually, some of them were rather like jell-o."

Rin chuckled into her tea.

"I think the weirdest thing is seeing Sesshoumaru here, with all of this." She made an expansive gesture that included the house and the scene in the back yard. "He and Inuyasha hated each other. And I mean _hated_ each other. And now they actually seem like real brothers. And Sesshoumaru is actually…good with your kids. I mean, not just tolerant of them, but actually good with them. And they clearly adore him." She pointed to where Sesshoumaru was calmly allowing Izayoi to tuck an early spring flower behind his ear.

A girlish giggle burbled up Rin's throat and Kagome blinked hard at the wave of nostalgia that hit her at the sound, "It shouldn't be _that _surprising. He wasn't the most demonstrative of father figures, true, but Sesshoumaru-sama looked after me very well. He always takes good care of what is his."

Kagome considered this. Rin had always seemed like such an odd companion for the stoic daiyoukai. What in the world would possess him to care for a little orphaned human?

"I can see the question hovering at your lips. You might as well ask" Kagome jumped at Rin's teasing comment.

"I just don't want to seem rude."

The other woman shrugged, "I knew you were going to have questions, and honestly how much do you think you'd get out of the other two as far as answers go? Ask away."

"Well, why _did_ Sesshoumaru take you in? I mean, the first time I meet him he's going on about what a taint Inuyasha is because of his human blood, and the next time I see him he's adopted this little human orphan."

"Hmmm. At first I think it was curiosity. I wasn't afraid of him and I was an opportunity to test Tenseiga. Then I think he just got attached honestly. He's actually rather lonely," Rin said softly.

"Lonely?" the astonished disbelief was rude, but she couldn't entirely keep it out of her voice.

"I think that's the _real_ reason he kept me. I didn't know anything about him. I didn't know he was the killing perfection, or that he was the lord of the west, I didn't know who his family was, who he was, anything. He was just the person who saved me. And that was the reason I loved him. It wasn't conditional on him fulfilling any ideals or achieving great things."

Kagome tried to remember all of the interactions she'd had with Sesshoumaru in the past. She did seem to remember him standing silently off to the side anytime he wasn't actively engaged in eviscerating something. Always apart from the group, always apart from humans and other youkai alike.

"I _guess_ I can see that," Kagome admitted grudgingly.

Rin laughed lightly at her tone, "Don't tell him I said this, but he's standoffish because he feels uncomfortable socializing."

Snorting in amusement, Kagome drawled, "Only someone from that family would find it easier to tell you that they're going to cut you to pieces than ask you how your day is going."

Rin laughed outright at that and both men turned to look at the house. Rin, still grinning, waved at them.

Kagome smiled softly, "It makes me…very happy, to see them getting along."

An uncharacteristically sharp, assessing look passed over Rin's face, but it was gone in a blink, "It's hard for me to remember what they were like back then. I was still a child, and I only have a child's patchy memories of it all. Then, shortly after you left for the final time, Sesshoumaru-sama left me in Kaede's care."

"Kaede? Really?"

"Yes. I think Sesshoumaru-sama realized that it would be better for me to be raised by a human, and a female. In human terms he was only about 20 years old. An adult, but still a little young to be taking care of a 7-year-old girl. Miroku and Sango stayed in the village and started building a family so I grew up as an older sister to their children, and with Inuyasha as my protector and playmate. Sesshoumaru-sama visited often, and took me with him when he was able and knew I wouldn't be in danger if I came along."

"I feel like I'm being rude to ask – but is that how you and Inuyasha ended up getting together?"

"Pretty much. You have to remember that Inuyasha never had any stability in his life before that time. Not since he was very young and lived with his mother. Being able to stay in one place, and have a purpose and people who liked and respected him – it tempered him. We were both sort of alone, he missed having someone to protect, and I think it was always very clear how much I missed Sesshoumaru-sama. So we became practically inseparable. He played with me – and couched lessons in our games. We would play hide and seek – and doing so taught me how to move silently in the woods, how to stay downwind of him when he was seeking me out, how to track large animals. He taught me how to hunt, how to fish, how to fight. Very inappropriate talents for a proper girl. And then one day I realized that what I felt for Yasha was not what I felt for Sesshoumaru-sama."

"That must have been a shock."

Rin laughed, "I cried. The hardest and longest I have ever cried. I refused to leave Kaede's hut for three days. It sent Inuyasha into a full-out panic, poor thing. He thought something was really wrong with me because it was the first time I'd ever refused to see him. And then I still couldn't talk to him normally for several weeks."

"And he's so dense he probably couldn't figure it out for himself." Kagome couldn't get rid of her grin.

"Nope. In the end I think it was Miroku who took him aside and hinted at what was going on. One day he just came up and sat down next to me, he was almost the same color as his haori he was blushing so hard, and he asked me if I wanted to go for a walk. The rest, as they say, is history."

The two women were silent for a long time, just watching the brothers and the children play in the garden. Inuyasha, teasing grin in place, appeared to be giving his brother a hard time. Sesshoumaru scowled in response before flicking Inuyasha in the chest and sending him tumbling for several meters, much to the delight of the children.

"In a way I laid the final stone in the bridge between them."

"You did?"

"It was you, Kagome-san, who built the foundation, you who saw the chasm and hoped to span it. But it was Inuyasha bowing before his brother and asking for my hand that finally closed the gap."

"I can't even imagine it."

Rin laughed again, "No, I was pretty shocked at the time too. I thought Sesshoumaru-sama was going to cut him down right then and there. Sesshoumaru-sama was _not _particularly happy, but he agreed in the end." A small smile of remembrance flickered across her face, "He'd already cheated death twice for my sake. I think he finally realized that it was a way to cheat death for a third time, and keep me."

-TBC-

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*******shoji**** - sliding doors covered in thin rice paper (to let in outside light)**

*******rōka**** – wooden 'hallway' that surrounds the exterior of most traditional houses – it is covered by a deep overhang and there are usually sturdier exterior doors or panels that slide closed (or are entirely removable) to protect both the rōka and shoji from weather.**

*******Shihanyo**** – this is just a guess based on 'hanyou' (and my limited – very limited – Japanese abilities) for how they might say 'quarter demon' **

*******note on aging**** – I usually am kind of a stickler for **_**manga**_** canon but I admit I based this somewhat off of the 3****rd**** movie which indicates that at the time of the series Inuyasha is around 200 years old. Even if we assume that he was in some sort of anti-aging 'stasis' when he was sealed to the goshinboku he would be still be 150 years old – and we know that he's the equivalent of in his mid-teens. Therefore in human terms he has aged around 1 year for every 10 years that pass.**

***Peace y'all***


	11. Interruptions

**A/N: I can't believe I have over 100 reviews on this story! You guys are awesome! I added a lot more SessKag interaction in this chapter than I initially planned, because I realized (with hints from some reviewers) that the last couple chapters have been a little light on the Sesshoumaru. And that's a sad thing.**

**Disclaimer: if I owned it, Sesshoumaru would have a LOT more page space/screen time.**

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**Interruptions**

Kagome carefully balanced a stack of dishes as she walked down the hall - her heart threatened to stop at every jostle and she winced at every sound of porcelain rubbing against porcelain.

The Higurashi Shrine had a few pieces of nice porcelain in its collection of art and artifacts – which was the only reason she recognized the plates they'd been eating off of as Nabeshima ware. In addition her mother had some Imari reproduction plates and bowls that she used for fancy dinner parties, but Kagome suspected that _these_ were originals.

She shook her head a bit in wonder –they'd just breakfasted on plates that could very well be worth hundreds of thousands of yen*. These things should be in a museum, or at least on display somewhere out of reach of little hands. Not covered in bits of grilled fish and pickle remnants*. Maybe, when you had lived so long and had so much opportunity to acquire material goods, the value of everyday _things,_ no matter how antique or fine, became less significant.

As she neared the kitchen Inuyasha's exasperated tones carried to her. He'd been so calm and comfortable over the past couple days that the quality of his voice made her slow in her approach. What could be making him upset?

"Look, just be _nice_ to her, okay? That's all it takes with Kagome. Stop being such a hardass and things will go from there."

There was a low, irritated mummer, clearly distinguishable as Sesshoumaru, but too muffled to be intelligible. She slowed her steps even more. Why were they talking about her?

While 'nice' and 'polite' were different behaviors – she thought that Sesshoumaru had been more than polite to her lately (she didn't know if she could fathom him actually being _nice). _Although, come to think of it, he _had_ seemed a little more distant here in the North with Inuyasha and Rin than the times they had met up in Tokyo. Which was odd actually; shouldn't he be more comfortable around friends and family then in a huge city in which he was ill at ease?

In any case she understood Inuyasha wanting his brother to get along with her, but really, the strongest feeling she had regarding the matter was that her old friend should _butt out._ Especially since the way he was talking about her made it sound like, like, …well, it made him sound like her Mother sounded when she was talking up the qualities of certain boys and young men that Kagome then somehow _conveniently_ found herself alone in awkward situations with.

Although it was far more likely that she'd simply inadvertently offended or angered the daiyoukai than Inuyasha was trying to set them up Kagome still resented that Inuyasha felt that he needed (or that he had the right) to meddle in her association with Sesshoumaru. They'd been managing just fine in Tokyo without his interference.

"Look. Rin and I will do what we can -" Kagome's eyebrows shot up at that, "- and don't give me that look, with your personality you're going to need all the help you can get."

Sesshoumaru's answering unhappy growl caused a flare of guilt at eavesdropping that overcame her curiosity to keep listening. Steeling herself, Kagome pushed into the kitchen.

"Hey hon I - Kagome!" Inuyasha exclaimed on seeing her, just a touch too loudly, "I thought you were Rin." Panicky-guilt flashed across his face, almost too fast to see. But she still knew him pretty well; he had grown and changed a lot in the past 500 years, but in some ways he would always be same boy she'd freed from the goshinboku.

"What are you plotting Inuyasha?"

"Plotting? Me? I don't know what you're talking about."

"Uh-huh. You know even after all this time you're still a crummy liar." The twitch of his ears gave away his discomfort, "Rin was looking for you."

"Oh, okay, sure thing." He gave his brother a pointed look before he left.

With the sound of Inuyasha's footsteps fading down the hall silence descended on the room and Kagome hazarded a glance at Sesshoumaru. Thankfully it seemed the glare aimed in her direction was rather absent-minded, as if he were perhaps glaring in _general_ and not at her in particular. Well, she certainly hoped he wasn't glaring at her in particular. Even if she had somehow offended him, she couldn't possibly have done anything that would _really_ piss him off. Like Rin had said, Sesshoumaru was uncomfortable socializing and Inuyasha and Rin were probably just trying to smooth things out.

Right.

Because _this _was _nothing __at all_ like those situations where she found herself alone and in awkward situations with single men.

She took a deep breath and forced a wry smile, "I don't suppose anyone is going to offer me any insight into what all that was about?"

His gaze focused to her face, "What did you hear?"

"Well, Inuyasha _is _sort of loud," she hedged, wondering whether she should pretend ignorance, or address the matter head-on, "But, well, I thought that we've been getting along fine. Or am I missing something?" There. Ball was in his court. Maybe she could get a hint about what was going on from his response.

He huffed and an unhappy scowl twitched at his mouth before he glanced to her hands, "Do you require assistance?"

_Damn it._ Stupid evasive JERK. Maybe he _was_ upset about something.

"What, you're going to help me wash dishes?" she rolled her eyes as she brushed past him on her way to the sink careful, as always, that they didn't touch. But this time she shivered a little as she passed. Trying to regain her composure she dropped a sardonic, "Like you've ever washed a plate in your life."

He silently appeared at her side, "It does not follow that I am _unable _to wash one." He eyed the food remnants and soapy water with restrained distaste.

She giggled and plunged her hands in the sink to fish out a sponge and start washing, "Much as I appreciate the offer, and relish the thought of the great Lord of the West up to his elbows in dishwater, I think I can handle it." She glanced down, "Even if it does make me a little nervous to be washing a sink full of dishes worth more than _I _am."

With a disdainful sniff Sesshoumaru leaned a hip against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest, "Humans are so preoccupied with material goods. Simply because a thing survives time it is afforded value, and the more time it survives the more value it seems to accrue."

Kagome snorted, amusement dispelling her concerns about offending him, "By that reasoning _you're_ worth way more than anything else in this house."

His eyes flashed up to hers quickly and, although it didn't appear that he moved closer, all the sudden it felt like he was _looming._ His voice was a quiet rumble when he responded, "What I intended, of course, was to point out the absurdity of comparing your worth to a piece of old pottery."

It _almost _sounded like he was complimenting her.

Her chest felt tight and her heart gave a funny little twitch as she felt her face heat with the force of her blush. The scant inch of space that separated her shoulder from his arm suddenly felt like a tangible thing. Why was he so _close? _

Golden eyes flickered and he shifted and opened his mouth to speak –

"OJI-SAMA!"

The twins burst into the kitchen hollering and Kagome nearly jumped out of her skin – jerking back from Sesshoumaru and the sink with a yelp and flinging an arc of soapsuds right into his face. Sesshoumaru shifted away from the counter and at once the kitchen felt a whole lot bigger and a whole lot less intimate. How did he _do _that? Kagome wished for a moment that she could completely change the atmosphere of a room simply by shifting her weight around.

_Well, if he wasn't irritated with me before, he is now_, Kagome thought as he stiffly reached up to wipe his face. This was _mortifying_. The twins, on the other hand, found it hilarious; Kagome blanched when she heard one of them mention "what a kick tou-san" would get out of it. The briefest flash of utter exasperation crossed Sesshoumaru's face before all his attention shifted to Kazuki and Kiyoshi who had started whinging in a manner they could have only learned from their father.

"Come ON oji-sama – you said that you'd run through some katas with us.*"

And to compound her confusion, Sesshoumaru followed the twins out without sparing her another glance.

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-TBC-

**Anyone who has tried to get their flirt on with kids around knows that this situation is quite true to life. Kids have a 6****th**** sense that leads them to instinctively interrupt potentially romantic moments.**

***Nabeshima ware – Top-quality enamelware porcelain made for the upper classes in Japan- produced in Arita by the Nabeshima clan from the late 17****th****-mid 18****th**** centuries. It's lovely stuff, quite quintessentially 'Japanese' in aesthetics. According to Christie's online auction records Nabeshima ware, depending on quality and attractiveness of the piece, sell from a couple of thousand to tens of thousands of $USD. With current conversion rates that would translate to hundreds of thousands of Japanese Ye****n ¥. **

***grilled fish and pickled vegetables are common components of a traditional Japanese breakfast. **

***Kata (****型 ****or ****形****,****) ****is a Japanese word describing detailed choreographed patterns of movements practiced either solo or in pairs. Kata are used in many traditional Japanese arts such as theater forms like **_**kabuki**_** and schools of tea ceremony (**_**chadō**_**), but are most commonly known for the presence in the martial arts. (thanks Wikipedia!)**

**Next time: Let the games begin!**

***Peace y'all***


	12. Games

**A/N: "OH – Freedom's just another word for 'Nothing left to Lose'….dun dun la la la…" Sorry guys, I've had Janis Joplin stuck in my head for like**** three days ****now. I've also been incredibly busy the last few weeks. But I stayed up late last night to work on this. **

**Disclaimer: A standard one should suffice. **

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**Games**

Kagome didn't know quite what she had expected; she supposed she still didn't know the daiyoukai that well (no one would argue that he was an easy person to get to know). But she'd expected...well..._something_ after the weird interaction they had yesterday morning. Unfortunately the 'something' she got was that after 'the incident' in the kitchen Sesshoumaru proceeded to ignore her for the remainder of the day. Even when Kagome had tried to strike up friendly conversation with him later in the afternoon he'd simply made a dismissive noise and turned away from her.

Naturally, she'd run a gamut of emotions: from confusion, to irritation, to right-out fury at his hot/cold behavior. For a moment in the kitchen it felt like he'd actually been _flirting_ with her, but then what felt like half a breath later he was looking at her the same way her mother looked at mysterious and stubborn bathroom stains.

So, after a restless night she'd woken this morning feeling exhausted and wrung-out.

Well, it would be more accurate to say exhausted and _pissed off_.

Determination swelled in her chest - she would enjoy the day, as well as the rest of her stay with Inuyasha and Rin, regardless of his behavior. Whatever was going on was Sesshoumaru's problem, not hers, and frankly he could go screw himself for all she cared. Really, there was no reason his snit should affect her.

Whether he'd been flirting, or if he was bored and toying with her, or if she was just reading too much into things and he was being his normal prissy-pants self (highly probable in her experience) – it wasn't her problem.

So when she bounced into the kitchen with a bright greeting for her oldest friend and his wife, she pertly ignored the third adult at the table until Rin and Inuyasha's glance of mild confusion made her realize that she was behaving like a bitchy, scorned girlfriend and she forced herself to belatedly greet Sesshoumaru as well.

She ate breakfast and chatted with Rin, teased Inuyasha and the children, and forced herself to maintain a polite facade with Sesshoumaru.

By the end of the meal he'd been openly staring at her with a vague look of consternation pinching his brow.

Kagome felt a small thrill at the expression. _See how you like a taste of your own medicine jerkface_.

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The day only improved from breakfast and it seemed her new, upbeat outlook and determination to enjoy herself were serving her well.

Rin and Kagome, taking advantage of unseasonably warm weather that probably wouldn't last, had wandered through the woods near the house, chatting and laughing. Towards noon they had thrown together a picnic lunch to celebrate the sunshine out in the garden. With the bright spring sun and balmy weather Kagome had largely forgotten her irritation with the daiyoukai. It was too pretty a day to focus on negative thoughts and feelings. As she found herself grinning broadly as the adults watched the kids play 'shardhunting', the irritation was forgotten entirely.

The game involved one of the twins holding Izayoi on their back and running an obstacle course (impressive in both length and complexity) as the girl shot toy arrows at targets placed in different locations along the path. Kagome was awed by the difficulty of the sport, and reminded that these 'kids' were much older and capable than they looked.

Half an hour or so into the game Kazuki, bored of having to wait for a turn to play, convinced Kagome to hoist him to up to the 'archer' spot on her back. Upon seeing this, Kiyoshi – Iza still hanging easily over his shoulders– decided that it was the perfect opportunity for a race.

Kagome and Kazuki _barely _won, and only because Izayoi's aim was poor enough that Kiyoshi had to backtrack on several targets.

Making it back to the starting line Kagome let Kazuki slip to the ground as she fought to catch her breath and keep from really embarrassing herself by passing out.

Kazuki blinked up at her, "Man, for a grown-up you're sure slow."

"_Kazuki_!" Rin admonished sharply at the same time Inuyasha cuffed his son's ears and barked an imperative "_Manners brat_!"

With a shrug and a laugh Kagome defended herself, "Well, I am just a human. And not a particularly fast or strong one at that."

"You picked your partner Kazu." Inuyasha gruffed, looking a little embarrassed at his son's rudeness, "You gotta learn to work with their strengths and weaknesses, not complain about them."

"Yeah, because you _never_ complained about my weaknesses," Kagome teased and was rewarded with a quick eye-roll.

Just then Kiyoshi and Izayoi jogged up and Kiyoshi, unaffected by 'losing', grinned up at his parents, "Wanna race us ka-san, tou-san?"

"Sure, why not? You two wanna join?" Inuyasha turned back to his other son.

Seeming to struggle with saying something polite Kazuki's gaze flicked between Kagome and his parents. He was not as laid back about losing as his brother, "Er…maybe later."

Kagome laughingly attempted to come to Kazuki's rescue, "I think we just established that youkai speed and strength are an unfair advantage!"

"Keh, we can't help it if you're naturally inferior." Inuyasha smirked as he hoisted Rin to the perch on his back that once belonged to Kagome. It was odd to see Rin literally take her place - bittersweet nostalgia spread from a tight place at the base of her ribs.

"Kagome,"

She started in surprise at the unexpected breath across her ear and she turned to find Sesshoumaru unusually close. Despite her resolution to ignore his mood-swings, her heart did that funny lurching thing again at his intimate proximity.

"Um, yes?"

Golden eyes sparked with challenge before he crouched in front of her, pulling the thick fall of his hair over one shoulder and turning his head back to quirk a brow at her. A beat of shock held her frozen a moment before her competitive spirit took over.

"Oh yeah!" she scrambled onto Sesshoumaru's back and triumphed at the expressions on their opponents faces, "We're going to kick your butts!"

Inuyasha glared at them, clearly disgruntled, "Oi! You two can't gang up on us! He's a freakin' daiyoukai and you're a miko!"

"We can't help it if you're _naturally inferior_ Inuyasha!" Kagome taunted with glee, and only because she was perched on his back could she feel Sesshoumaru's huff of amusement. He shifted her weight and her grin dropped abruptly.

Not good.

All the sudden, with the feeling of the muscles in his shoulders and back bunching and sliding under her hands and the grip of her thighs, this didn't seem like such a good idea. Not if she really wanted to keep that resolution to ignore whatever confusing insanity was going on between them.

Then he arranged his arms to steady her and support her weight.

She took it back. This wasn't a bad idea; this was potentially _the worst idea__ ever_.

His long-fingered hands – supporting her weight right where the muscle of her upper thigh curved into her butt - felt like branding irons. And the heat of his body made her starkly aware of every single inch of her that pressed against him, and painfully conscious that nothing but a few thin layers of cloth separated them.

Very, very bad. She knew he was an attractive man. Or rather an attractive man-shaped being. You would have to be blind not to know that Sesshoumaru was sex on legs. But she could actually do without beings so intimately reminded of it, thanks. It didn't help that she suddenly realized that she was perfectly positioned to be able to sink her hands into that glorious hair of his.

"Ready?"

Kiyoshi's enthusiastic cry snapped her attention back to the game and she fumbled the bow that Kazuki handed her. What she initially thought was a toy was actually a legitimate practice bow – only the arrows were tipped with small sacks of colored dye instead of sharpened arrowheads.

"Set!"

Her hand fitted into the hold of the bow and she grasped the first arrow in her fingers, suddenly nervous.

_Performance anxiety Kagome, really? _She fought the urge to snort derisively at herself.

**"GO!"**

Steely muscles shifted beneath her and then they were off.

Her heart thrilled as familiarity embraced her. She might be astride a different back, but with the landscape rushing past them, the bow in her hand, and the wind twining the silver and black of their hair together…she'd done this so many times before.

Unexpectedly a joyous laugh escaped her and she whooped; discomfort and embarrassment dissipating in her exhilaration.

"Man you're fast!" she cried as she took aim and barely managed to hit the first target.

"Not as fast as I could be. But you must be able to _see_ the targets to hit them."

"Modest too!" She laughed against the wind as she hit the second target and felt him huff under her as she continued to aim and shoot as they shot through the course.

She subconsciously leaned forward as Sesshoumaru tensed under her, recognizing from experience the feeling of someone gathering themselves to jump. At the next bend in the path, as soon as her arrow hit the last target, Sesshoumaru gave a controlled burst of power and they were _flying._

Startled, Kagome latched her arms around his neck with a gasp. The remainder of the course was a quick blur as Sesshoumaru made good on his earlier boast about his speed.

An elegant, graceful movement slowed and brought them to a stop just over the starting line.

"Wow, we finished _way_ ahead of everyone else!" she dropped off his back but a quick hand caught her wrist before she could step away.

"Kagome –I …should apologize." it sounded like it was _painful_ for him to say it.

Exhilaration evaporated in an instant and astonishment and irritation warred for dominance, "Well I'd accept it, but you haven't specified what you're apologizing for. For that matter you haven't actually apologized, you just said you _should_ apologize." she pointed out.

"My behavior was not honorable."

"That's still pretty non-specific Sesshoumaru-_sama_."

His nostrils flared in annoyance, but he quickly schooled his features with a deep breath. The others were nearing the finish line, Kazuki cheering them on from some distance away.

"This Sesshoumaru… "He looked awkward and uncomfortable as he dropped his voice and leaned in to speak quietly, "…_**I**_ do not always know how to express myself. I was rude and ignored you yesterday. I apologize."

As the rest of the family finished the race noisily, Kagome stared in wonder at Sesshoumaru. A legitimate apology. Who would have thought?

Questions rose and stuck in her throat but only moments later they were surrounded by demanding children and friends, and the moment was lost.

-TBC-

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***Peace y'all***


	13. Naptime

**A/N: I wasn't planning on updating again so soon, but then you all are so nice, even after such a long break break last time, that it made me want to go ahead and finish the next chapter, since it was almost ready anyway.**

**Disclaimer: *Sings the Disclaimer song***

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**Naptime**

On the upside Sesshoumaru's apology cleared the air between them. On the downside it seemed to actually _increase_ the awkwardness rather than decreasing it. The strained irritation and anger were gone, but replaced by uncharacteristically careful civility. It was like they were tiptoeing around one another, which wouldn't be nearly so disconcerting if it weren't _Sesshoumaru. _He actually seemed to be exerting himself to be polite and attentive.

Weird.

Rin and Inuyasha disappeared with the boys around mid-afternoon and though she'd told them she would be fine on her own for a few hours she actually found herself a little lonely in the big house. She lived by herself, true, but her apartment was tiny and packed with stuff. Additionally there were neighbors on all sides. There was always some sort of noise or activity, even in the dead of night.

Here, miles from the nearest town, there was only the sound of the wind and birdsong and the occasional odd noises that seem to manifest in houses _only_ when you're left alone. She told herself she wasn't getting creeped out, but found herself peering into darkening rooms in search of Izayoi and Sesshoumaru nonetheless.

She was walking past the room used as the 'family room' when a flash of silver drew her eye and her jaw dropped in astonishment.

As the shadows of late afternoon lengthened into evening the air temperature had dropped noticeably (Kagome had fished a fuzzy cardigan out of her bag not 30 minutes earlier). Although the day had been quite warm, this far north it was usually cool enough that the kotatsu was still out.

The object of her astonishment, Sesshoumaru, the mighty Lord of the West, was sprawled out asleep underneath the puffy floral-patterned kotatsu cover.

That alone would have been enough to stop Kagome in her tracks, but to make the scene even more arresting was Izayoi - curled up asleep on the daiyoukai's chest, one thumb in her mouth and the other hand loosely clutching a lock of the his shimmering hair. One of Sesshoumaru's long arms was tucked behind his head and the other was wrapped around the child resting on his chest. On looks alone Izayoi really could be Sesshoumaru's daughter, the impression was particularly strong because they looked so comfortable and peaceful with each other.

Something clenched in Kagome's chest at the sight - reared up inside of her took a handful of heartstrings and yanked, hard.

Biting her lip to keep from making '_kawaii'_ cooing noises she slowly, and as quietly as possible, reached into her pocket and pulled out her cell phone.

At the soft chirp of the phone's camera Sesshoumaru's eyes opened with a groggy scowl and slanted over to her.

"Sorry" she mouthed at him with an unrepentant grin.

He grunted.

"You two were so _cute_ I couldn't help it," She whispered under her breath, knowing he could still hear her.

He regarded her silently; eyes hooded slices of citrine in the late afternoon light.

Then he crooked a finger at her in what could only be a beckoning gesture.

Surprised, Kagome shuffled forward and knelt beside him, "What is it?"

He shifted and a pillow appeared beside him.

"Are you offering to let me join you two?" She whispered in shock.

"Hn."

Bemused, she wondered if he were even fully awake. Even now his eyes were sliding closed again and his breathing slowing and evening out.

_Well, why not? _It had been years since she'd fallen asleep under the kotatsu. Kagome shrugged to herself and arranged herself beside the other two.

This kotatsu was not like the tiny plastic number she had crammed into her apartment but it was still going to require that she be close enough to Sesshoumaru to make her nervous. She snuggled under the blanket and sighed in contentment - the cool air of the room brushed her cheeks, but her legs and feet were toasty warm. Shifting, she felt even warmer when her knee inadvertently bumped his thigh. Thankfully he didn't stir and she took the opportunity to study Sesshoumaru's profile. It was hard to remember, to _really_ remember that Sesshoumaru, and Inuyasha for that matter, were not human. Even though they looked sort of human, they were something else entirely.

Viewing Sesshoumaru like this she could more easily believe it. He – like so many of the high-youkai she'd seen – was almost _unbelievably _beautiful. With his eyes closed she could clearly see the red markings on his eyelids and the stripes that curved over the high arch of his cheekbones. She was close enough to notice for the first time that these naturally colored areas of skin were not sharply delineated as they first appeared, but slightly blurred at the edges. Kagome wondered if his markings felt different from the rest of his skin.

Her eyes traveled over his face - he had such a straight nose. It made her conscious of her own and she reached up to run her fingertips over the subtle curve of it. Although over the years some of her friends had gotten nose jobs and eyelid surgery so their features looked more "Western", she had adamantly insisted that she was happy with what she was. But such avowals of confidence didn't mean she didn't look in the mirror sometimes and wish she adhered just a little more closely to current beauty ideals.

Even though his striking looks were highlighted in sleep he looked, well, not _harmless_ – but certainly less intimidating with his features relaxed and not cold and stoic or glaring in irritation.

Slowly – watching his face the whole while and holding her breath – she reached out to where a swirl of silver hair lay between them and twined a lock of it through her fingers. Her breath escaped her in a silent whoosh. Just as silky and smooth as she had hoped.

Kagome's hand, still entwined in silvery strands came to rest on the ground in front of her as her eyes slid shut and the world faded away.

-TBC-

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***a sweet little interlude of a chapter just cause. Because as much as I love awkward UST, sometimes I just want a break from it.**

***a kotatsu is a low table with a heater mounted on the underside. Usually there is a futon or thick comforter that sits on the floor underneath the table and another that goes under the removable tabletop. My ex-roommate has one and they're AWESOME.**

***Also - on nose jobs and eyelid surgery (and most cosmetic surgery really): I believe people should be able to do what they want to their bodies, but I also wish people would learn to appreciate and find beautiful the body they have.  
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***peace y'all***


	14. Questions

**A/N: ****I treasure each and every review I get (I keep them in a pretty little box and take them out to admire them when I'm feeling low) even if I don't respond to every one. But ****I want to shout out to Claudia who left me an anonymous review after the last chapter - Claudia's was one of those reviews that fic writers dream about getting and it filled me with all sorts of warm fuzzies. It's really nice to know that people are enjoying this story. T****hank you all for your kind words, they fill me with ridiculous levels of happiness.**

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**Questions**

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Kagome couldn't sleep.

Something – a dream that slipped away on waking – had jerked her from slumber so fully that she was now unable to relax. What a pain. Once she was awake her brain started processing and her head was so full of confusing thoughts and emotions that she couldn't fall back asleep. It seemed like Sesshoumaru was…_singling her out,_ as it were, but she had to be paranoid. Right?

Adding to her discomfort, the only memories she had of getting back to her bed were vague impressions of hushed voices and sleepily pressing her nose into someone's neck that smelled of _male _and ancient wild things - the feeling of elegant fingers patiently untangling her hands from cool silver tendrils of silk – the softest touch tracing the contour of her cheek and brushing her hair back from her face and then coiling in the thick locks – a frustrated sigh that belied the gentle touch – but she had been so close to sleep that it might have been part of that dream.

Flipping absently through her book in the dim glow of the little lamp she'd positioned at the head of her futon, Kagome's hand came up to trace the path over her cheek; as if that touch should have left some sort of tangible mark to let her know whether or not it had been real.

"Kagome-san?"

Kagome jerked in alarm and turned towards her door. Izayoi had pulled the shoji open just enough to squeeze through and was rubbing her eyes sleepily, her white hair practically glowing in the room's low light.

Kagome was surprised, but not unpleasantly so. The twins were rambunctious and brash and had warmed up to her almost immediately, but Izayoi was still reserved and careful of her. In character she wasn't at all like Rin or Inuyasha, but much like the uncle she obviously adored.

Maybe this was a turning point. It was certainly the first time that Izayoi had approached her of her own volition. Kagome's heart warmed, she wanted Inuyasha's kids to like her and she would love a chance to be included in their lives.

"Hey sweetie, is everything all right? My light didn't wake you up did it?"

Izayoi scuffed her foot on the floor, "I can't sleep. Can I come in with you?"

"Of course. Did you have a nightmare?"

Iza shook her head as she shuffled across the tatami and climbed into Kagome's lap. Touching the center of her chest gingerly she explained in a childishly petulant tone, "It hurts."

When Kagome spread her palm over the little girl's chest she could _feel_ the struggle of the girl's youkai blood against her mortal, human blood. Poor thing. It must be awful to have such a harsh physical reminder of being torn between two worlds. It had almost driven Inuyasha mad at times after all.

Trying to keep her voice soothing but matter-of-fact she put her arms around the girl in a loose embrace, "I'm sorry sweetie. I know it must hurt. It's because your youkai blood is such strong stuff."

Izayoi nodded absentmindedly as she started playing with the curling ends of Kagome's hair, "Tou-san said that you knew him and ka-san before they were mated."

"That's right. I knew your mamma when she was still a little girl."

Izayoi paused for a long moment, "Did you know Sesshou-oji san too?"

The girl sniffed one of the dark locks she was inspecting and Kagome bit back a mild admonishment, deciding that this was not the proper time for a lecture regarding human personal boundaries, "Iza-chan, if you want a story you should _ask_ for one. You don't have to trick me into telling you."

"I wasn't tricking." Izayoi muttered a little sullenly.

"Oh really? I know that your dad has told you lots of stories of our adventures. So you must know that I met your uncle in the past. Unless you're trying to trick me into something you should just ask for what you want."

Frowning prettily, Izayoi nodded in acquiescence before her face melted into a shy smile, "Okay, oji-sama says that honest is best."

_Sometimes he could stand to take his own advice_, Kagome thought a little acidly, "He's right. So what did you want to know about?"

"Papa said that you battled Sesshou-oji sama at the beginning, before papa got tessaiga."

"Well... I think it might be a little bit of a stretch to say that I 'battled' your uncle. I mostly just stood to the side and tried to avoid getting killed. But that is how I know how strong your youkai blood is. I've seen it in action." Kagome smiled to herself in remembrance, "You know that was one of the first times I met your oji-san - in the tomb of your grandfather. He was _so _scary."

"Tou-san told us a little about it, but I think he tries not to talk about him and Sesshou-oji not getting along."

That was kind of cute actually, Inuyasha toning down his own exploits in order to be a better father. Kagome didn't want to step on any toes, but surely she could relate the story and have both Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru come out looking like decent brothers. They'd settled their differences in the end anyway.

"Well, your tou-san was scary too, when I first met him. But by the time we met Sesshoumaru-sama I kind of knew he would protect me, and he was so strong that I thought I was safe from anything. But then we met your uncle and I realized just how powerful some youkai could be. Your dad and Sesshoumaru-sama were arguing over who should get your grandfather's sword and I was shocked when I realized that the entire battle was taking place _inside_ what used to be your grandpa's belly."

"He was that big?" Izayoi craned her head back to look Kagome in the face.

"He was. At first I could hardly believe it because before that time I'd never seen a daiyoukai, only lesser youkai. But at the end of the battle was also the first time I saw your uncle in his Inu form, so if I had any doubts that youkai could be that big, seeing Sesshoumaru-sama transform erased them. Have you seen your uncle's Inu form?"

Iza nodded emphatically, "He shows us sometimes, for special occasions. He's so big!" she gestured emphatically with both arms, nearly falling out of Kagome's lap, "Isn't that also the fight where oji-sama lost his arm?"

"It was – after he transformed he came at us to try and get tessaiga away from Inuyasha - I was more scared than I had ever been in my entire life. But afterwards even though your uncle was trying to hurt us I felt a little bad, and I think your dad did too, even if he would never admit it."

"Why?"

"Because your uncle is a great warrior, and it's always sad when a great warrior is badly injured. But in the end it was a good lesson for me too, because the next time I saw him he was just as strong as ever, even with only one arm."

"And it's also because of that that he met mamma." Izayoi chirped.

Kagome smiled indulgently, "That's right. So in a way, if your dad hadn't cut off your uncle's arm, then your parents would never have met, and you wouldn't exist. Fate works in funny ways doesn't it?"

"I guess so," her brow furrowed a moment as if she was searching Kagome's statement for hidden meaning, "Was dad or oji-sama a better fighter?"

"Well…" Kagome considered how best to answer, "It depends on how you judge it. They were both amazing warriors, but they fought _very_ differently. Sesshoumaru always kept a cool head in battle, and he would assess and analyze a situation before acting. But your tou-san always fought from the heart."

Izayoi fidgeted before asking in a quiet voice, "Kagome-san, do you like oji-sama?"

"Of course I do."

"Yeah, but do you _like _like him," Izayoi met her gaze in the room's low light.

"Oh…Iza–chan," Kagome took a deep breath and broke eye contact to stare into the shadows, "Your uncle and I are just – " _just what?_ _Friends? Aquaintances? What?_

"Because oji-sama likes _you._" Izayoi looked quite serious, regarding Kagome with steady assurance.

A nervous giggle escaped before she could stop it, "Of course Sesshoumaru likes me. We're… er…well I guess we're friends."

"No, no." Izayoi rolled her eyes, clearly exasperated at the apparent obtuseness of the 'grown-up', "Oji-sama _likes_ likes you."

"Why would you think that Sesshoumaru likes me more than he likes anyone?" For some reason Kagome's voice didn't come out as teasing and lighthearted as she had intended.

"He let you sleep with him didn't he?"

Face flaming; Kagome reminded herself that Izayoi probably had no concept of the meaning of the euphemism she'd just voiced. But another look at the little girl had Kagome feeling like maybe it was she herself who didn't understand the _meaning_ behind the _gesture _Izayoi was referencing.

Youkai were much closer to their instincts than humans. Sesshoumaru had let her _sleep_ at his side. No, not 'let', **_invited_**.

The gesture implied an intimate level of trust.

Kagome swallowed heavily, the desire to push away the implications, as she had for the past week, crowding to the forefront of her heart and mind. She'd been telling herself that she was 'reading too much into things' a little too often for comfort lately. What if...what if she _wasn't _reading too much into things? What if what _seemed_ to be going on, actually was?

Suddenly, it occurred to Kagome that she'd been spending a lot of time and energy worrying about what _he_ wanted from her. Maybe, just maybe, the question she needed to be asking herself was what _she_ wanted from him.

-TBC-

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***Next time: Answers**

***peace y'all***


	15. Answers

**A/N: Anyone like Vivaldi's _Winter - 3. Allegro _? I have this recording that's a **_**teensy bit**_** slower than its usually played and it makes me think of Sesshoumaru every time I hear it. Yup. That's how cool I am. This chapter hated me. I had to bring it chocolate and give it foot massages to get it written.  
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**Disclaimer: I think I've forgotten this on the last couple chapters. That doesn't mean that I now own Inuyasha. I still don't *sad face*.**

**Also – warning for strong language. Yeah I know, there are children present, right? But what can I say, even at like 700 years old Inuyasha has a potty mouth. And Kagome is 20. 20 year olds swear, even the nice ones.  
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Kagome stumbled into the kitchen and headed straight for the coffee maker, glad for once that the kids were apparently still asleep and she could have a few moments of relative quiet to gear up for the day. The bright morning and sweet birdsong were really rubbing her the wrong way, which was a good indicator that Kagome would find it difficult to be friendly today. She knew that she was generally good-natured, but even she had _'those days'_.

"Good morning Kagome!" Rin chirped cheerily from the little table where the family ate their breakfast on most mornings. For as traditional as the rest of the house was, the kitchen was quite modern, if not a little retro. But the bright yellows and greens suited Rin.

Kagome responded with a grunt – the mantra her mother had pounded into her when she was young on a mental loop; _If you can't say something nice, say nothing at all; If you can't say something nice, say nothing at all_.

Last night she'd lain awake long after Izayoi had drifted off, snuggled against her in the futon. Both her turbulent thoughts (and the fact that Izayoi kicked in her sleep) kept her up for _hours_ and in the end she was just as conflicted and confused as when she'd started. No clear answers to the question 'what do I want from Sesshoumaru?' had been forthcoming in the dead of night. She didn't feel particularly inclined to friendliness or her usual upbeat attitude this morning.

Inuyasha snorted in amusement at her surly greeting and Rin offered a sympathetic look that only ratcheted Kagome's irritation up another notch - the last thing she wanted right now was sympathy, or worse, _pity_. And really, didn't a week of riding an emotional roller coaster and a sleepless night entitle her to a little surliness? Especially when Sesshoumaru had apparently decided to pretend that he didn't even notice her arrival to the kitchen.

_That sonnofa – _Kagome forced herself to take a deep calming breath through her nose and unclench her fingers from around her coffee mug. If she was going to throw it at him she wanted to at least wait until it was full of something really, really hot.

"I heard you and Iza talkin' last night." Inuyasha rumbled, interrupting gratifying mental images of Sesshoumaru with a face-full of scalding coffee, "She's only heard all of those stories about a million times y'know."

Oh good, something to focus on besides that pulsing ball of irritation expanding in her chest, "True, but she's never heard them from me. I think I was just a fresh perspective. Really, I didn't mind. I couldn't really sleep anyway." Kagome propped her hip against the counter as she waited for the coffee to brew.

Inuyasha snorted, "What really surprised me was how complimentary you were to the asshole here."

Rin flicked one of his ears, "Yasha! Language! Just because the kids aren't in the kitchen doesn't mean they aren't listening."

Inuyasha's ears flattened a little at the admonishment, but he rolled his eyes at Kagome when he was sure Rin wouldn't see.

"I didn't say anything that wasn't true." Kagome defended, "You were both great warriors. Or are." Kagome rubbed her forehead as she cracked a huge yawn, "I'm tired, and time travel makes verb tenses confusing. Does Iza have trouble sleeping often?"

Inuyasha exchanged a worried, paternal look with Rin, "Was that why she was up? Yeah, she's having a lot of trouble balancing out her youkai blood. Usually part-youkai kids reach an accommodation point, but some have more trouble than others." Inuyasha jerked a thumb to indicate himself with a shrug, "The twins haven't had any trouble yet, but we need some sort of talisman or something like tessaiga that will help Iza. What do you think Sess?"

Sesshoumaru didn't even offer his customary intonation of acknowledgment.

What little patience Kagome had today was tissue-thin, and she wheeled on Sesshoumaru with a rude comment ready. She expected him to be pointedly ignoring everyone in the kitchen, so she was surprised to see him staring in a distant, distracted manner towards the spot she occupied at the counter.

_Wait…_was he…_staring at her **legs**?_

An odd mixture of incredulity and irrational anger roared to life in her chest.

Kagome had never been self-conscious of her pajamas before: the well-worn boxers, a pair of Souta's that she'd stolen because they were covered with cute little white dogs, fell nearly to her knees and were _hardly _revealing. She was more covered than she would have been in her school uniform at 15, or in many of the cute weekend outfits that she wore now. Yet something in the daiyoukai's gaze made her feel...naked. Sesshoumaru didn't look at all off-put by the show of skin, quite the contrary, and Kagome wasn't sure how she felt about that. Besides embarrassed, of course, considering that Inuyasha and Rin were _right there_ looking on.

The blush she felt burning in her cheeks only made her angrier.

"Oi – asshole!"

With an almost indiscernible jerk Sesshoumaru's eyes focused and flicked to Inuyasha who, Kagome thought, looked decidedly amused.

To Kagome's shock Sesshoumaru _blushed_.

It was only the barest hint of color on the aristocratic arches of his cheekbones, but it was _definitely _a blush and Kagome fought the urge to gape in shock.

In a sudden violent movement Sesshoumaru shoved back from the table, his chair screeching on the kitchen floor before he stalked without his usual grace towards the sink. The urge to gape only increased - she'd never seen even a hint of discomposure in his attitude before this moment. As he approached Kagome realized that she was in the way of the sink and by some miracle dredged a scrap of manners from some hidden well of civility, "I'll get those." She offered awkwardly, reaching for his plate.

"Shocking as it may be, I do not require your assistance," he snapped.

There was a sound like an open palm meeting a forehead from Rin's direction. And Kagome was sure she saw Inuyasha roll his eyes again.

She didn't know what she'd done to offend him, and because it was _Sesshoumaru _she would likely have to play a game of 20 questions to even get a hint. Besides, wasn't _he_ the one who'd been ogling her? Shouldn't _she _be the one offended? They were supposed to leave to return to Tokyo within the next couple of days, and all Kagome wanted was a nice end of her vacation with Inuyasha and Rin. There was no telling when she might get a chance to see them again.

Kagome's irritation spiked out of control. He was being such a prissy little _bitch_. How dare he make the day unpleasant for _everyone _just because he'd gotten his panties in a twist! "It's called common courtesy Sesshoumaru-_sama_." She snapped, "Although I can see how you might not recognize it for what it is. You could obviously stand to learn some."

"As if I need to be lectured on propriety by a little _human_ female."

"Apparently you could learn a thing or two from this little _human _female." she exaggerated his tone mockingly, her voice rising in volume as she continued, "You may be some great and mighty daiyoukai, but you clearly know nothing about manners. You're such a selfish jerk that you obviously have no idea that your little bitch-fits make everyone else feel awkward and uncomfortable - and you ignore every attempt anyone makes to diffuse the awkwardness. I have absolutely had it up to _here_ with you and your bullshit. If you can't even manage to be civil for five minutes maybe you should just PISS OFF so everyone else can have a nice vacation."

He stepped forward and did that _looming_ thing he was so good at; as he invaded her personal space his presence seemed to overpower the little kitchen. Eyes flashed as he glared down at her and he released a threatening growl that chased itself around the little room.

"Don't you growl at me you testosterone-fueled idiot!" she snarled, jabbing him in the chest as her reiki flared with her fury. It probably had all the effect of getting shocked by static on a cold winter day, but it made her _feel _better anyway.

"_Stand down._"

If she were smart, or had some sort of notion of self-preservation, she would probably heed the warning in his tone and the glowing red that was beginning to creep into his eyes. But self-preservation had apparently decided to go on holiday for the morning.

"_You _stand down!"

"**_Stand...down."_**

"Oh, go fuck yourself asshole!"

The next several seconds happened so fast that it was hard to work out the order of things - but by the time Kagome processed that very sharp, poisonous claws attached to a very angry looking inuyoukai were coming towards her he'd already collided with her and with a blur of impressions she was propelled backwards. It was easy to forget, when one had seen him in his Inu form, how _big_ Sesshoumaru was even in his human form - tall, and muscular and with an overwhelming presence. So it was somewhat surprising that the impact of his body with hers didn't hurt like she'd expected it to. If her heart hadn't leapt into her throat, and she hadn't been busy worrying that she was about to be eviscerated she might have found it notable that a large hand had cushioned her head so that when they collided with the kitchen wall she was barely even jostled.

All this registered in the split second from her insult, to the pair of them ending up on the other side of the kitchen, and then _everything _seemed insignificant because that warm hand angled her face up and warm lips pressed against her own.

Kagome froze.

She vaguely registered Rin tugging an embarrassed, but unsurprised looking Inuyasha from the room and quietly shutting the door behind them.

This kiss was not at all the shy, tentative exploration most first kisses were. Sharp teeth nipped at her lips and strong hands positioned her as he wished. It was a kiss of dominance and power, and Kagome had the feeling that if the situation were right, this was the sort of kiss that would knock her metaphorical socks off. But the situation was not right - currently she was dealing with a little too much shock to really enjoy it. Her heart was beating a thunderous rhythm as she held herself stock still in the cage of his arms. She couldn't find any words, she couldn't do anything except blush and try to make sense of the torrent of thoughts fighting for precedence in her head.

Sesshoumaru moved from her lips to snuffing at her neck. When his nose bumped her ear she twitched and the hand cradling her head flexed, claw tips pressing briefly into her scalp before that hand slid across her nape and down her back. A shiver followed it down her spine - every hair on her body standing on end.

Surely her heart was going to come out of her chest if it beat any harder. Kagome silently opened and closed her mouth a few more times.

Then he nipped that ear he seemed to find so interesting.

Kagome whimpered involuntarily and jerked in his hold and he made a pleased, growling noise deep in his throat.

"Um…" she tried to tug away from him, eliciting another growl, this one of an entirely different nature, as his hold on her tightened. He pulled her even closer, one hand shifting from where it grasped her arm - running down her back and pushing up her baggy tee to grasp her hip and pull her close. Only, well, she was kind of petite, and he was kind of…not. So his hand ended up spread over a lot of sensitive skin on a part of her body that was rarely touched. Then the other hand finished its journey south, palmed a handful of her ass and hoisted her up against his body. When he shifted again with a growl of approval she realized exactly what _that_ was pressing insistently into her stomach. A noise somewhere between a whimper and a hicup squeaked out of her and he gave her a warning rumble.

Her face was _burning, _and it felt like her entire body was throbbing in time with her heart, "Okay. Never mind. I was totally not trying to get away from you. Go ahead and sniff me. But um…no biting."

As soon as she spoke he stilled, blinked, and his eyes shifted back to gold.

For a long moment they stared at each other wide-eyed. Kagome could hear the hum of the small refrigerator in the corner and wondered inanely if it was irritatingly loud to him too. Then she was falling.

Literally.

She stumbled when the hands and body supporting her abruptly disappeared - her arms wheeling comically for a moment as she tried to find her feet, but she lost the battle and hit the floor hard.

"Ow!"

Well _that_ was going to leave a bruise.

Kagome looked up, irritation reignited and ready to light into the daiyoukai, but the kitchen was empty and the door which led outside stood open.

Silence descended on the room. The refrigerator hummed quietly in the corner and those damn cheery birds were _still _singing.

Kagome sat on the checkered floor uncertain of how she should feel. She _had_ been provoking him…and well, he had definitely_ risen to the occasion_. And Sesshoumaru's actions and behavior pretty much killed any and all doubt about whether or not he was interested. But it was also clear that he didn't particularly _want_ to be attracted to her or he wouldn't be fighting it so hard. Kagome certainly didn't want someone interested in her simply because they 'couldn't help themselves'.

Tears pricked behind her eyes.

A muffled thump came from behind the inner door, followed by a soft tapping. The door opened a crack and Rin peered hesitantly in. Concern etched across her face on seeing Kagome alone and she pulled the door open further to enter, "Kagome? Are you okay?"

Inuyasha craned his head over Rin's shoulder and through the door - took in Kagome sprawled on the floor of an empty kitchen and the open door to the yard - and he started cursing up a storm.

"Yasha, calm down." Rin soothed.

But Kagome knew that look in his eyes - his emotions and anger had hijacked the control panel.

"What a fucking moron!" He snarled.

"Yes, but Yasha, we're all going to calm down and deal with this like adults."

"No, _I'm _going to go find him and kick his ass. Then I'm going to drag his sorry hide back here and he's gonna get down on his knees and fucking apologize."

"Yasha!" but her husband was already storming out of the house, something long and sharp glinting in his hand.

Sometimes Kagome felt like she was just one big walking disaster. Poor Rin. Poor Inuyasha. She showed back up in their lives and it all went to hell, "Should, um, should we go after them?"

Rin cast her an incredulous look, "We couldn't hope to catch them on our best day. No, we'll just have to wait for them to come back." Rin sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of her nose, and then summed the situation quite succinctly,"Well, this sucks."

-TBD-

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***A/N: God Sesshoumaru! Why do you have to be such a dumbass? This story could have been over ages ago if you'd just given up on the emotional constipation and jumped the miko! And Kagome - why can't you have a romance novel reaction and SWOON. Geeze, you two are impossible. Anyway, I really hope this all isn't confusing - it makes sense in my head (sort of). Seriously though - I feel like this chapter is all over the place, but I've been fussing with it for ages... urrgh.  
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***Peace y'all***


	16. Love or Hate?

**A/N: Woah snap! Guys, you continue to fill me with surprised elation with your reviews!**

***disclaimer = don't own it, never have, never will.**

**blah blah bla... SO much talking in this chapter. Sorry guys, action should pick up again next chapter.  
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The first thing Rin did was make breakfast. Inuyasha's loud mouth had brought the kids to the kitchen; wide eyed and noticeably quieter than usual. With the deftness of experience Rin juggled pots and pans, a sullen guest, and impertinent youthful questions.

Even though the grown-up, gracious part of Kagome knew that the world wasn't centered on her and that Rin was a mother first and foremost – the selfish, childish part of her was sulking that there was something that took precedence over the earth-shattering occurrence that just happened.

After what _felt_ like hours the twins and Izayoi were finally occupied playing out in the yard and she and Rin settled themselves at the low table in the family room.

"Okay." Rin's tone had a sense of resignation and finality that Kagome took as a go-ahead.

"Okay. So, what the hell is going on? And you and Inuyasha _obviously_ are onto something that I'm not, so I don't want to be put off anymore. I've had all I can take of being evaded from Sesshoumaru."

"I don't plan on evading you. Both Inuyasha and I have been telling Sesshoumaru-sama that he should be more direct with you. I just didn't realize that he was going to interpret 'direct' as 'forward' and throw himself at you in the kitchen."

Rin's patient, understanding tone did nothing to placate Kagome's irritation, "So both you and Inuyasha knew that he was...well...interested?" it was still so strange to address it head on, "Thanks for letting me in on it. When did this start? How long has it been going on? When did _you_ figure it out?"

"Woah, too many questions. What do you really want to know?"

"Let's start with 'everything' and work our way from there." Kagome knew her tone was unreasonably nasty, but she couldn't seem to help the urge to take out her frustration on someone else.

With a weary sigh, Rin shrugged, "I don't know 'everything'. But it might help if I started by telling you what I do know and from there I can tell you what I suspect."

"Sounds like as good a plan as any."

"Well then," An ironic smile quirked the corner of Rin's mouth, "Once upon a time a girl fell down a well and into a great adventure."

Kagome snorted and rolled her eyes.

"Sorry, but I have to start at the beginning. Because I think all _this_ starts at the beginning. In this 'once upon a time' Sesshoumaru-sama was a great and mighty youkai lord and he considered humans beneath his notice. Who could blame him? It was affection for humans, for a particular human, that led to his great father's death. He certainly wasn't unique in his opinion. At that time, as I'm sure you remember, humans were more likely to be regarded as a food source by youkai than as a source of companionship. Humans are fragile, weak, short-lived creatures. For some reason though, he adopted a little human orphan as his ward. Perhaps at first it was simply curiosity because the girl showed no fear of him, but over time he protected the girl and came to care for her." Rin took a deep breath, as if to steel herself, "In time Sesshoumaru-sama came to know another remarkable human. Young, green, and naive, but with a steadfast heart. This girl was as fearless as his little ward in her own way. And she embodied many of the traits that daiyoukai and inu regard highly. Loyalty to their pack, bravery, and protectiveness towards defenseless young to name a few."

Rin leaned back on her outstretched arms before continuing in a more conversational tone, "This is where supposition begins - I believe that this human, so clearly out of her depth but steadfast in spite of it, came to inspire grudging respect in this great and terrible youkai lord. I believe that this respect led to curiosity, and curiosity to a subtle, instinctive urge to protect."

Kagome stared at Rin, blinked, and then let out a dry, disbelieving snort.

"I'm serious Kagome."

"Rin – even if Sesshoumaru did 'respect' me or whatever, it's been five hundred years. **Five hundred. **I know youkai are long-lived, but five hundred years is still five hundred years. "

Rin gave her a long inscrutable look before shrugging one shoulder and continuing, "I didn't realize until much later that Sesshoumaru-sama didn't understand what happened to you. You just ...faded. There was nothing to bury, nothing to resurrect. Because I grew up around Inuyasha, Miroku and Sango and they talked about you I knew that you hadn't died. I didn't really understand the _how_ but I understood that if we lived long enough, we would meet again. I think Sesshoumaru-sama thought that the Shikon had _taken_ you with it."

"But-"

"I only realized how much of an impact your disappearance had on him when Inuyasha asked to marry me. I sort of danced around the truth before. Sesshoumaru wasn't just upset. He was _furious_. He ordered me to leave, so I didn't hear all of what passed between them, but I eavesdropped in on enough to realize that he believed that Inuyasha was showing shameful fickleness– because he should still be mourning losing you. It wasn't easy for him to convince Sesshoumaru-sama that the two of you loved each other, but that the relationship didn't evolve in a romantic direction."

"But- you can't...Sesshoumaru couldn't possibly have loved me. We barely had any interaction at all back then."

"I don't know if he '_loved_' you Kagome. You can't really judge youkai relationships by the same standards you would judge human ones. Youkai aren't human, no matter how much they might look it."

"I know that!" Kagome threw her hands up in frustration.

"Knowing something and truly _understanding_ it are different. Youkai are linked much closer to their instincts than we are. Although Sesshoumaru-sama was disdainful of humans, it wouldn't have mattered if instinctively he recognized you as a potential mate."

"But-"

Rin continued, ignoring her attempted interruption, "What I do know is that a couple of months ago Inuyasha got a random call from Sesshoumaru-sama in the middle of the day. I didn't hear what it was about, and Yasha looked really confused by it too - he only mentioned that Sesshoumaru-sama had said something about you and that he sounded...agitated. That evening Sesshoumaru flew here - you know in that ball of light thing he does? That's a **huge **no-no in demon law. He went over populated areas, didn't dampen his youki, the works. So he shows up here in the middle of the night and he and Yasha disappear into the mountains. I'm not great at sensing youki – but even I could tell there was some serious battling going on. When they came back two days later Sesshoumaru-sama left right away and Yasha wouldn't tell me what was going on, he said it was 'guy stuff'."

"In all that time, no one ever told him what happened to me?"

Guilt and pain flickered through Rin's gaze before she answered somberly, "I just assumed that Inuyasha had told him at some point. I had no idea that... If I had known he was in the dark - with my suspicions that he had grown to care for you, I would have told him in a heartbeat."

"You're still suggesting that Sesshoumaru _liked _me all those years ago? I have a hard time believing it, sorry."

"I remember a very similar conversation I had with Kaede once upon a time about a certain hanyou." Rin shrugged, a small smile returning to her face, "If you want to be really unromantic about it 'Love' is just the definition we give to the attraction we feel to someone we see as a potential life companion."

"Fine, I accept the non-romantic version. But Rin, seriously, it's impossible. At the best of time he ignored me, at the worst he was actively engaged in trying to kill me."

"He also saved your life, directly or indirectly, more than once. Before you I was the only human he'd interceded on behalf of. I don't think he would have done so if at the very least he didn't regard you as pack. Sesshoumaru-sama is very difficult to read, but at that point I was already getting to be able to understand him a little. At the end of your adventures he respected you, held you in high regard, felt protective towards you - those instincts don't fade for a youkai. If he saw you as a potential mate, and that's conjecture on my part of course, but if he did - well, frankly Inu and other pack youkai have grieved for the rest of their _lives_ for lost mates. Inuyasha and I once met an old wolf youkai that had been in mourning for his mate for almost a thousand years. Its possible that over the years, over the centuries he came to realize that he would have enjoyed more from you than time had allowed him. I love him dearly, but he's a bit of an idiot honestly. I wouldn't be surprised if it _did _take him several decades to work it out."

"Well judging by his recent behavior he obviously doesn't _want_ to feel this way."

"You have to cut him a little slack. When you reach a few centuries old its easy to get set in your ways. And Sesshoumaru-sama _is _particularly stubborn."

"Couldn't be a family trait or anything." Kagome muttered.

Rin chuckled, "Yes. But you're perceiving Sesshoumaru-sama not only as human, but as the experienced one."

"If you tell me that he's a thousand-year-old virgin I'm never going to believe another word you say."

That surprised both a laugh and a blush out of Rin, "That's not what I meant and you know it. He's trying to learn how to interact with you as a human, Kagome. He may not be doing a particularly good job, but he _is_ trying. He's never tried to court someone in the first place, and he's certainly never had to do so with a human. Another youkai would instinctively understand what's going on – there are procedures and a natural order of things. But humans have distanced themselves from instinct and put more value on words and feelings – two things that Sesshoumaru is not particularly good at expressing."

"He must have met thousands of women in that time. I'm not vain, I know I'm not ugly, but I'm not a great beauty either. "

Rin gave an exasperated sigh, "Yes, but we are all a unique sum of our parts Kagome. Perhaps you don't know how few people, when faced with the choice, would be able to make a truly selfless wish. You draw people to you. Your purity and kindness are like a beacon. Perhaps Sesshoumaru-sama found over the centuries that you compared favorably to those thousands of other women. "

Something in Rin's calm tone and reasoned words made the resistance and denial fade away, "This is all just a lot to take in. I mean, I've noticed that things have been…changing, between us. For a while actually - I thought that I was just being crazy or paranoid or something. I thought I was just pathetically desperate for a connection to the past. But… this is really happening isn't it?"

Staring down at her cooling tea Kagome let everything wash over her. Laying awake last night hadn't cleared her head, and today's events didn't help. She certainly didn't want … prejudices to color any relationship that might develop between them. What _did_ she want?

"You're right. This does suck."

"It's never like it is in novels is it? Love in real life is messy and confusing."

"You say that, but you and Inuyasha are like blissfully happy together." Kagome couldn't entirely hide the tinge of petulance that colored her tone.

Rin smiled, "We are. But that doesn't mean that we don't have our ups and downs. There have been many days where he'll do something that makes me wonder why I ever married him. It's part of every relationship to have those moments where you feel like you _hate_ the person that you've chosen to share your life with. Just because you love someone doesn't mean that you _like_ them all the time. Its funny, as I've grown older I've started to realize that the true opposite of love is not hate - love and hate are really both aspects of passion. The opposite of love _and _hate is apathy. "

"I don't know if I can love Sesshoumaru. I mean, he's sort of a jerk."

"Yes, I suppose he is."

"And domineering."

"True."

"Completely uncommunicative. And stubborn as hell."

"Sexy though."

Kagome choked, "RIN!"

"Just because I love him like a daughter doesn't mean I view him only through a daughter's eyes." She grinned, "But that last bit is not for Inuyasha's ears, it's just between you and me." She winked outlandishly before turning serious once more, "Sesshoumaru hasn't changed much in the last five centuries. Which means his good and bad traits haven't changed: he's honorable to a fault, loyal and steadfast. His people skills are…not good, no one would argue otherwise. And you're right, he's a uncommunicative, stubborn jerk. Although I'd say he isn't the only stubborn one. Watching you two the past week has been both hilarious and frustrating as hell. You're both dancing around each other and completely oblivious that the other is doing the exact same thing."

"He might have been dancing around me but I was doing nothing of the sort."

Rin smiled knowingly, "Sure. Okay, whatever you say."

"I'm serious. I barely know him. And a few months ago all I knew about him was that he was Inuyasha's older brother and that he tried to kill me once upon a time. I was just happy I found someone from the past alive in the here and now."

"Relationships have been formed on less Kagome-san. Can you honestly say that your feelings are the same now as they were several months ago?"

"Well of course they've changed. I got to know him better."

Rin raised her eyebrows.

"But not well enough to contemplate marriage or any youkai equivalent of it. You have to know that there are other considerations!" Kagome exclaimed hotly, "You should understand better than anyone - what about my family and friends? _If _I mated Sesshoumaru, it would mean that I'd have to...leave them behind."

Rin looked stricken for a brief moment, "Yes. Yes I do know the difficulty in that decision." there was a soft quaver in Rin's voice, "When I first mated Inuyasha I was so happy and young and carefree that it didn't even occur to me what would happen to other people that I loved." A waiting silence stretched between them before she continued, "Do you regret becoming friends with Sango?"

"Of course not!"

"But you knew that she died hundreds of years before your birth. You only knew her for barely a year. You will carry the sadness of her loss with you for the rest of your life, no matter how short or long it will be. Would you go back and prevent yourself from becoming her friend, knowing that your acquaintance would be so short?"

"No." Kagome spoke quietly.

"Even if it would protect you from grief and pain?"

Kagome let her breath out slowly, "No. No I wouldn't."

"I won't lie and tell you it was easy to watch Miroku and Sango grow old while I still looked young. Then to watch their children, who were like brothers and sisters to me grow old and die in their turn, and then _their_ children, to whom I was like an aunt. But there are more youkai around than you think. You get to know one another, you find other people to fill your heart, and you learn that the people that you love, no matter how briefly they touch your life, are important and special." she paused, as if contemplating whether to continue, "Miroku went first you know, Sango not too long after. I was with her, in the end - she didn't want her children to watch her die. She told me…she asked me, that when I saw you again to tell you that you were one of the best friends she ever had. That she felt blessed by the kami to have been able to know you. She asked me to wish you as full and happy a life as she had. You see Kagome, Sango missed you all that time, but all she wanted in the end was for you to be happy."

"So you're suggesting that being with Sesshoumaru will make me happy?"

"No, I'm suggesting that you not let your fears prevent you from _potential_ happiness. Sesshoumaru-sama would certainly never force you into anything, of course. No one would want an unwilling mate. Besides it's obvious that he's as confused with how to proceed as you are. But I think you two would do well together. You balance each other well."

The women sat in contemplative silence for several minutes before Rin teased, trying to lighten the heavy atmosphere, "You know, no one would _blame _you for falling for him, not even Inuyasha. Though he'd definitely growl and grumble about it, I think he'd like to have you around, long-term. Now are you _sure _you don't love him?"

"No. I don't know. I'm mostly just feeling confused. There's really only one thing I'm absolutely certain of."

"What's that?"

Kagome rested her chin in her hand with a sigh, "If I had to define my feelings for Sesshoumaru? 'Apathy' is the _last _word I'd use."

-TBC-

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***peace y'all***


	17. Familiar Face

**A/N: annnd back to Tokyo. Let me know if the flashback structure in this chapter is confusing and I'll work on it.**

**yeeeeeaaaahhhhhh!  
**

***warning again for Inuyasha's angry mouth***

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**Familiar face**

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It was impossible to focus.

Kagome had thought that she would find some measure of peace when she finally returned home and was distanced from that damn kitchen. She'd thought that, given the chance to have some time alone with her thoughts, she would be able to sort out her head. But instead she was as distracted and easily diverted as a three-year-old. She would sit down, talk herself into picking up a textbook and five minutes later shoot to her feet and start pacing furiously or realize that if she had laser vision she would have burned a hole straight through her textbook and table and possibly through the scuffed floor of her apartment.

There was such a confusing tangle of emotions in her chest. She _still _wasn't sure if she should be angry, offended, or if she should just try sticking with surprise.

Sesshoumaru had not come back to the house.

Rin and Kagome had waited up late, making dinner and playing silly games with the kids who were clearly nervous and picking up on the tensions that had risen in the house (although Kagome was sure that when Rin had told the kids that 'Your uncle and Kagome-san had a disagreement' – Izayoi had looked smug and knowing for the briefest of moments). After dinner had been put away and the kids tucked into bed with _extra_ bedtime stories from Kagome, she and Rin sat at the table in the family room, talking quietly about frivolous things and drinking tea.

An unspoken agreement had them giving wide berth to the topic they'd exhausted that morning - Kagome got the impression that Rin was letting her process. And Kagome felt like she needed it. By that point it was hard to believe that the kiss had happened only that morning – it felt like millennia should have passed.

Very late into the night (or early in the morning, depending on how you looked at it) Inuyasha had come stomping back into the house, clearly still furious.

"Well the fucker's got himself hidden off somewhere real good. Didn't get so much as a whiff of him." He plopped down on the floor and crossed his legs and arms in one motion. With tessaiga laying to one side of him Kagome was hit with a wave of déjà vu so strong she closed her eyes and shook her head to try and dispel it. "Sorry Kagome," Inuyasha muttered gruffly, misinterpreting her behavior.

"I feel like I should be the one to apologize actually. I mean, if I weren't here you all would be having a nice holiday."

"Keh. Yeah, 'nice' would be if that asshole was a little more upfront about what he's doing. The only one out of the fucking loop is the one he should be trying to loop-in. "

Rin laid a hand on her husband's knee, "Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru-sama is dealing with this the best way that he can."

"Yeah, yeah. I know. Though it still pisses me off that you still always gotta defend him after all this time." he crossed his arms and turned away, but from where she sat Kagome could see a smile pulling at one corner of his mouth.

Rin was apparently familiar with this behavior. She wormed one of her arms under his and leaned into him affectionately, "You know, when I'm not busy defending him to you I'm defending you to him, right?" He grunted noncommittally, and Rin grinned, "Are you hungry?"

One of his ears twitched, "I could eat. I guess."

Rin tweaked a furry ear as she rose and a playful snarl chased her from the room. Inexplicably Kagome felt that she was watching something very private, and part of her knew that even though Inuyasha would always love her, the largest part of him was no longer, and would never be hers again. It was bittersweet. It was wonderful to find out that he had found love and had been happily mated for the past 500 years, but she felt a little left out - an outsider to their happiness.

Rin and Inuyasha had the sort of comfortable relationship that she _wished_ for. They were _easy_ with one another. And it was clear that they both doted on and cherished their children. Kagome had sudden insight that Inuyasha hadn't just gotten older in the time they'd been apart. He'd _grown up_ –become a husband and father - and she was still just a stupid, young, college student apparently. It made her so happy and proud to see how Inuyasha had grown into a good man and a great father.

He blushed furiously when she told him so, and responded only with a soft, highly-embarrassed "Keh."

It was just so difficult to believe that she and Sesshoumaru could ever have anything like what Inuyasha had with Rin. He didn't have the kind of personality that invited open affection or playfulness. Kagome would have thought she had learned a thing or two since she was 15 about giving her affections to the 'wrong' guy, but here she'd blundered her way into another emotional mess. Great.

In retrospect it was – well, not _obvious_; Sesshoumaru was about the most understated guy on the planet – but she felt it was clear enough that she should have picked up on it a little more strongly than she actually had. But it was _Sesshoumaru, _so of course she simply assumed that he was just warming up to her. Because it was impossible that he might actually _like_ her, right?

Right.

"Hey."

She tuned back in on Inuyasha, a little embarrassed to be caught staring off blankly into space for so long.

"Don't worry about it too much."

He could say that all day long, but it didn't erase the gnawing feeling of discomfort and guilt. Kagome sighed and stared down at her hands, "I was just thinking that I should have noticed, that's all. I mean, Sesshoumaru isn't exactly open with _anyone_. And he was really making an effort with me wasn't he?" she shook her head at her own cluelessness, "_Especially_ after I overheard that conversation between you two the other day."

"Eh. You're still young and inexperienced." He gave a dismissive shrug, "Like I said, don't worry about it too much. He'll get over his little hissy fit eventually. And after I kick his ass we'll go from there."

But in the end Sesshoumaru's 'hissy fit' had lasted so long that Inuyasha had to drive her to the nearest train station and buy her a ticket back to Tokyo. Rin apologized profusely and made excuses for Sesshoumaru while Inuyasha, standing behind his wife and out of her line of sight, rolled his eyes.

He'd given her a long hug at the station, wrapping her in his arms and holding tight before looking awkward and giving her a terse command to call often because "Rin would want her to."

Kagome smiled at the memory; he really was the same boy she'd freed from the goshinboku all those years ago, no matter how much time had passed.

So she'd hoped that returning to her normal life in Tokyo would erase the unease that plagued her but instead she found she was totally distracted and couldn't concentrate on anything for more than about ten seconds. Whether she'd realized it at the time or not, Sesshoumaru _had_ been courting her in his own emotionally stunted sort of way. And now, back to her regular routine, she realized that his absence was almost a tangible thing. It was a great indicator of how fixated she was on him that every time her phone rang or she could hear someone walking down the hall she had a fluttering feeling in her stomach at the thought that it might be him. When she caught herself obsessively checking her email for the 20th time in as many minutes she forced herself to close her laptop and turn back to her books and she pointedly ignored the sound of footsteps approaching her door.

This, she justified, was why she jerked so hard she fell over and spilled tea all down her front when someone knocked on her door.

Even trying to avoid it her first thoughts were of Sesshoumaru and her heart took up an embarrassing rhythm. If it _was_ Sesshoumaru (which it wasn't, she told herself, absolutely couldn't be) he would probably wonder why her heart was racing like she'd just run 10 miles.

But there was no way Sesshoumaru would ever rap a lively little rhythm to announce himself. It couldn't be her neighbor either. Actually, she couldn't imagine anyone she knew who would knock like that – though the manner of knocking indicated familiarity. Maybe the person had the wrong apartment.

So with some curiosity she opened the door.

Even with the concealment charm in place she recognized that sweet smile and those bright eyes immediately.

So, with fresh tea stains on her shirt and her hair in a messy knot she further embarrassed herself by doing something she hadn't done since she was 15.

She burst into tears with a loud wail.

Thankfully the man's eyes warmed with understanding and his arms opened to catch her when she launched herself at him.

"Shippou!"

-TBC-

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**XD – I wasn't going to include Shippou in this story – he was supposed to be only a mention in one of the earlier chapters, but a review made me consider including him. And I'm glad of it – he's going to be a huge help.**

***peace y'all***


	18. Advice

**IMPORTANT A/N: Hey, you know what I hate? When there's this story that I'm kinda into and which is getting updated somewhat regularly, and then all of the sudden the author just…goes AWOL. I'm always like: WTF? UPDATE or let us know what's going on or SOMETHING.**

**So yeah, I TOTALLY DID THAT. I have excuses, of course, but offering them up won't make me feel any less guilty or any less of an ass. Probably I shouldn't do chaptered fic and stick to one-shots. So I'll give the most sheepish of sheepish waves, apologize sincerely, and say that I am going to try really, really hard to finish this story for all of you who reviewed, or put this on your watch list, or faved it (and even if you're a lurker, because usually that's what I am).**

**Because you guys are awesome.**

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Advice

Several hours later found Shippou and Kagome sprawled out on her floor, partially eaten cartons of takeaway scattered around them.

After Shippou had deactivated his concealment charm for a bit so she could spend the proper amount of time 'oohing 'and 'ahhing' over the increase in his youki and his new tails (super cute!), Shippou had sidestepped her protests, insisted that she looked fine for their purposes, and hustled her out of her apartment to grab takeout from no fewer than _three_ different local eateries. Kagome had mostly trailed in his wake, still a bit bewildered by his appearing out of nowhere and more than a little bemused at the role-reversal of him buying _her_ food. Especially when he'd insisted on one final stop at her corner konbini to pick up an entire grocery bag of sweets.

Kagome was amused to find that her little Shippou, for all of being more than 500 years old, had the appetite and taste preferences of her teenaged brother. Almost as soon as her door closed behind them upon their return his charm was off and he'd dug into the takeaway like he was starving. Kagome had flitted around her apartment (finding napkins, digging out DVDs, hunting through her small collection of spices for additions to their meal) unable to settle from a sense of nervous excitement until Shippou caught her hand and pulled her down beside him, put a slice of pizza in her hand and stayed her with a wry look of exasperated amusement.

Part of her knew she was indulging him – she never had been able to say 'no' to him after all. He could give her this sweet, pleading look and all her resistance crumbled.

Now that the food was mostly decimated - her laptop propped open on her tiny little coffee table and playing some sort of comedy – the conversation had fallen into an easy ebb and flow.

Kagome suspected that he was feigning more interest in the film than he felt, she knew she was. But while she was distracted by the fact that _this_ was the little kit who'd ridden on her shoulders only a few short years ago (for her at least - and he'd grown into such a cutie! She couldn't stop ruffling his messy copper colored hair), she strongly suspected something else was on his mind - she kept catching him sneaking looks over at her when he thought she wasn't looking.

Something twingy and sort of unpleasant in the bottom of her stomach told her that there was a little _too _much coincidence in Shippou showing up at just this point in time _and _acting so preoccupied and distracted. But the conversation between them had kicked off with innocent questions, always lighthearted and occasionally teasing. Just like catching up with an old school friend she hadn't seen in years.

Only in this case there was a lot more time to catch up on.

Still, Kagome just couldn't shake the feeling that she was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Shippou gave a gusty sigh of contentment as he pushed aside what was left of a massive container of ramen, "Man, it's good to be back."

"To Tokyo?" she picked pieces of sweet corn off a half-eaten slice of pizza and nibbled on them.

"To Japan. I've been gone for almost 30 years."

Was he talking her into a trap? She _hated_ being manipulated.

Irritation spiked through her and she tossed out the name they had been dancing around almost defiantly, "Oh, that's right, _Sesshoumaru_ mentioned that you left. I seem to remember him saying something about a _girl_." She drew out the last word teasingly and to her amusement Shippou flushed adorably, "So how did that go?"

A wide, smug grin gave Kagome all the answer she needed before he elaborated, "Well. I was actually thrilled when I got the message that you'd turned up because it's just in time. Mikoto and I are engaged. We're planning an event for early August – a wedding earlier in the day for all our human friends, and then a mating celebration later in the evening. I was hoping you'd be a part of the ceremonies."

"Oh!" touched and pleased, her heart melted and she blushed, "Well of course I want to be a part of it. Although I don't know what's expected of me."

"Don't worry about it - it's really not all that formal. I'll be happy just to have you there." His admission was shy, reminding her strongly of his younger self.

"My little Shippou is all grown up," She teased with a catch in her voice as she reached up to brush his bangs back from his face. He leaned into her hand, his eyes shuttering a bit.

"I really missed you Kagome." He murmured quietly, his eyes shining with emotion, "So much has changed," but even as he said it he rested his head on her shoulder, the same way he used to when he was small enough for her to carry in her arms.

"I know," a wry smile twisted her lips as her hand came up to stroke his hair once more, "I can't pick you up anymore."

Shippou gave a rough snort of laughter accompanied by a light shake of his head. It was funny, she could see both Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru in his mannerisms, but underneath it was still the little kitsune who'd ridden on her shoulders and guilt-tripped her into buying him candy. Just like Inuyasha was in some ways still the boy she freed from the Goshinboku.

Kagome pulled a silly face at Shippou and his laugh in response was open and honest and freely given. As he pulled back the light caught the planes of his face in a way that made her see him for a moment as the full-grown youkai that he was, and not the child he had once been. It fluttered briefly at the top of her consciousness that - if things were different - well...Shippou _had_ grown up to be very charming and handsome...

But things were what they were, and when he shifted again the effect was gone, and he was her little kit all grown up once more.

His merriment softened into something wistful, "I wish I could have grown up with you."

She rolled her eyes and nudged him a bit with her elbow, "Now you're being too obvious - quit trying to make me cry more."

"Still so weepy," he nudged back.

For a few quiet minutes they sit in companionable silence, cuddled against one another.

Kagome almost flinched when Shippou drew a deep, meaningful breath – something told her that 'other shoe' was about to start falling.

"So."

"Sooo?" flippancy was probably going to get her nowhere, but for some reason it made her feel a little better.

"So when _are_ we going to talk about Sesshoumaru?" he regarded her steadily.

She sat back from him as if burnt, and scowled, "I don't particularly want to talk about him at all."

"That's not very productive though, is it? Avoidance?"

"Why can't tonight just be you and me?" she hated how sullen and childish she sounded.

Shippou bit into a piece of pizza and shrugged as he chewed, "He's like the elephant in the room isn't he? Or the inuyoukai in the room in this case. We might be talking around him, but he's still got his big furry butt right in the middle of things."

"Is that the only reason you came back? Did Rin and Inuyasha put you up to this?" a nasty thought occurred to her, "Oh god, Sesshoumaru didn't tell you to come over here did he? Well if he did you can tell that stuck up jerk that he can come talk to me himself and not send someone else to do his dirty work."

Shippou sat silently, as his eyebrows slowly crept upwards, "Sesshoumaru didn't send me. In fact, he'd probably flay me alive if he knew I was interfering. And Rin and Inuyasha didn't _ask_ me to come; they just suggested that you might need a friend right now."

"So you're meddling, as a _friend_?"

He gave her a look that made her feel even younger and more petulant, as well as guilty at her implications. With a sigh she slumped back with her arms crossed over her chest, "How much do you know?"

"Inuyasha called me right before I came back to Japan. So I've heard his version of events through Golden Week."

"So you basically know everything I do."

The laugh that burbled out of him was disbelieving, "I doubt that. I may have known Sesshoumaru for 500 years, but the thought of him losing it and snogging someone in Inuyasha's kitchen, or really, kissing _anyone_ with _any_ sort of passion at all is still sort of difficult for me to get my head around. I imagine you know a lot more than you think you do."

"I don't though! I don't know what he wants from me!"She wailed.

Shippou's eyebrows shot up and he afforded Kagome a look of clear disbelief.

"Er…," Kagome groaned and dropped her head in her hands, finally giving in, "I mean, I know what it _seems_ like, and what Inuyasha and Rin are saying it is, and now _you_, but even if it is what all of you are implying, and not some sort of crazy fluke or weird youkai mating fever - I don't know what to do. He hasn't contacted me at all!"

Shippou was quiet for a long time. When she peeked up at him he looked thoughtful, "Maybe _you_ should contact _him_."

"What?"

"Well, why not?"

"I…I couldn't! It's too – too-"

"Too what?" he pushed.

Her cheeks were _burning_, "It's just embarrassing all right?"

Shippou nodded sagely, "Love is sort of humbling Kagome, it brings down all of our walls."

Kagome doesn't know whether to laugh or cry because she can tell that he's half serious and half teasing, "I don't love him. I can't love him. I barely _know_ him."

"You probably know him better than almost anyone actually. Especially if he was _trying_ to open up to you."

"So? Great, the great emotionally stunted inuyoukai opened up to me. That means I'm supposed to love him?"

A knowing, mischievous, glint sparked in his eyes, "When I knocked, for a split second, you thought I might be him. Didn't you?"

She spluttered, "What? That's ridiculous! I thought you were my neighbor."

A grin stretched across his face, "So your neighbor makes you break out in a nervous sweat and makes your heart race?" he tapped his nose knowingly, "Since I can tell they're all female, I'd _love_ to meet this neighbor."

"You youkai really suck," she sulked, "And why are you so insistent about this?"

Shippou's shoulders twitched up and he smiled openly, "Well I am 500 years older than you now, I guess you learn a thing or two as you age. And I kind of owe Sesshoumaru. I mean, he'd probably try to cut my head off if he knew I was meddling, but when Mikoto left Japan it was Sesshoumaru who gave me the verbal kick in the pants to follow her."

"_Sesshoumaru_ actually encouraged you to chase a girl?"

"Hey, he's even older than I am, remember? He's pretty perceptive as long as it doesn't involve his own emotions."

"Well bully for me," Kagome muttered sullenly, inspiring a full-out belly laugh from Shippou. "It _really _isn't funny."

"Oh Kagome, I know it isn't funny for you, but someday you'll be in my position – perfectly and blissfully secure in love and you'll see someone else struggling through exactly what you're struggling through right now. And I promise, when that happens, you'll get a kick out of it."

"I really don't like that everyone else seems to have more insight into my love life than I do."

"None of us really have _insight_ into your relationship with Sesshoumaru. We just have experience with our own relationships." he pondered something silently for a moment, "We also know Sesshoumaru better than almost anyone. We're trying to help because you don't have the same luxury of time youkai do - Sesshoumaru is very formal and traditional, if he went about this the traditional way you'd be dead _long_ before the courtship was over. So he's struggling to overcome instinct, personality, and preference to accommodate you."

Kagome pulled her knees to her chest and rested her chin there, "I just feel like all of you expect me to come to terms with all of this immediately - like I'm so slow and oblivious, but I think I should be given a little slack! He _hasn't_ been terribly straightforward about what he wants." At Shippou's look she remembered her conversation with Rin, and the kiss, and _everything_ that had happened over the past few months and corrected herself, "Well, at least not verbally."

Shippou snorted again, "Sesshoumaru has never been verbally straightforward about anything except 'Die!' - If you're still confused why don't you go _talk_ to him and try to figure it out?"

"Because...because," she floundered to articulate her objections, "because - I don't know what to say to him!"

"Well it sounds to me like you can't blame him for having the same problem _you're_ having." he chuckled at her furious expression, "Kagome, in his own way he was really putting himself out there, outside his comfort zone, right?"

Grudgingly Kagome realized that he had backed her into a corner and she nodded in agreement.

"So maybe it's your turn to return the gesture."

-TBC-

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***Notes on the chapter: konbini's are Japanese convenience stores. Sweet corn is one of the most common pizza toppings in Japan, but certainly not the strangest.**

***peace y'all***


	19. Confrontation pt1

A/N: I promise I have not abandoned this story - I am still really trying to finish it, and I WILL. I will not leave it permanently unfinished cause I HATE it when people do that and everyone who has faved/watched this story and written a review have been so kind and patient!

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Confrontation; Part 1

Kagome had half-expected to be tossed out of the building when she boldly told the receptionist she was there to see Sesshoumaru. Although she'd done her best to make herself presentable (digging through the recesses of her wardrobe for the most serious, professional-looking clothing she owned) she knew she looked more or less like what she was - a college student trying to look professional, standing in the fancy lobby of one of the high-rise office buildings that made up the district.

The receptionist hadn't exactly been polite either. She'd given Kagome a scathing once-over that told her clearly that she was _not_ impressed with what she saw. But Kagome had bravely forged ahead, even though the marble floors and burnished wood of the lobby made her feel scrubby and self-conscious she'd tried to match the receptionist's snobby tone when she coolly informed her that she was here to see 'Taisho-san'.

It had earned her another dismissive once-over.

"Do you have an _appointment_?" the woman's lips pursed around the words, as if it offended her to even have to ask.

"N-no."

This time the receptionist didn't even try to hide her disdain.

This had seemed like a good idea last night in the comfortable companionship of old friendship, right? Why had this seemed like a good idea last night? Maybe some of the food had been drugged. Or maybe Shippou had tricked her into it with some sort of kitsune voodoo. Because Kagome was pretty sure that she would never have thought that this was a good idea when she was in her right mind.

She was here now, however, and the bloody-minded stubbornness that carried her through her adventures in the Sengokujidai was swelling in her chest. She'd made it all the way down here, she couldn't just leave with her tail tucked between her legs.

Could she make a break for the bank of elevators? Unfortunately in a swanky building like this they were probably keyed.

Maybe she could hitch a ride with an employee. Of course, she would have to wait until snootyface receptionist wasn't looking.

Speaking of – Kagome furrowed her brow as the woman reached up to flick her stylish fringe out of her face, every bit of her body language telling Kagome that she was being ignored and dismissed. As she moved her hand, however, something glinted at her wrist - a delicate chain with a familiar charm and an increasingly familiar 'muted' feeling when she reached out with her spiritual powers.

Oh.

Well, of course Sesshoumaru might have youkai working for him. That… actually made a lot of sense. She still wasn't used to the idea of youkai living and working alongside humans, with humans being none the wiser. How many times had she interacted with youkai in modern Tokyo and not even realized it?

Well, youkai she could work with.

Kagome smiled sweetly and leaned against the counter, holding the smile and the position until the woman looked up irritably, "No, I don't have an appointment, but if you would be so good as to inform Sesshoumaru-sama that a _very angry_ Shikon Miko has just arrived in his lobby, I'm _certain_ that he will be able to find five minutes out of his busy schedule to see me."

Then she'd let a little of her reiki simmer around her. The woman's eyes had gone wide, she'd paled and then flushed, and almost faster than Kagome could see she had a phone to her ear and was pressing buttons. Maybe she should use the shikon miko thing as leverage more often because the woman was suddenly all politeness, offering her coffee or water, asking if there was anything else she could do for her as she went through several phone connections.

Kagome fought the urge to have a nice gloat. Guess snotty receptionist wasn't as important as she liked to pretend if she had to go through _that_ many people before she reached Sesshoumaru's office.

The receptionist barely had time to start trying to make up for her formerly rude behavior when a smartly dressed man swung around the corner leading to the bay of elevators, interrupting the woman's bowing and scraping. Something about the way he carried himself screamed "Security" and Kagome tensed, still half-expecting to be dragged from the building and tossed out onto the sidewalk face-first like a bad anime.

"Tenchi-san will escort you up to the corporate suite." The receptionist said with obvious relief in her tone.

'Tenchi' smiled broadly at her and gave a short bow, "Follow me please, Higurashi-san."

"Thanks _ever _so much for all your help," It was kind of mean, but Kagome couldn't help giving the woman one parting shot along with a saccharine smile as she trailed Tenchi towards the bay of elevators.

A couple of minutes of awkward silence followed as they waited for one of the elevators to slide open. Tenchi had an open, handsome face, and there was something familiar in the way he moved but there was also something in his expression that discouraged her from falling into nervous chatter as was her natural inclination in such situations.

As soon as elevator doors closed and hum of acceleration kicked in the man rocked back on his heels and gave Kagome an appraising look. She barely had time to wonder if she should be worried before he cleared his throat and grinned, "So you're really the shikon miko?"

"I am." She said, a little surprised by his change in demeanor, "Are you youkai?"

"Wolf youkai."

That's why he seemed familiar – why that grin and the almost loping gait were so nagging familiar, "Oh! Do you know Kouga?"

"Kouga, prince of the northern packs? He's like my second cousin's uncle in law or something like that. Why?"

"Oh, just curious, we knew each other. A long time ago." she tried to pass it off - she had enough problems with youkai in her life right now. She didn't need to be dragging Kouga into it. Then, because she needed to fill the silence so she wouldn't start thinking about what was at the end of the elevator ride, "How many youkai work here? I noticed the receptionist."

"Quite a few. After a while you get better at spotting us. My mate is human and I used to have to tell her every single time we met another youkai. But now only the very well-concealed fool her."

It was amazing how time had changed things – in the Sengoku Jidai it would have been a rare youkai indeed to have openly admitted to taking a human mate, but Tenchi said it offhand. The same way one might mention that a friend or acquaintance was a Sagittarius, or from Hokkaido, or preferred pork to chicken.

They exited the elevator into an expensively furnished executive suite and Kagome distractedly noticed that Tenshi slipped back into the aloof attitude from earlier. The solid wood doors alone must have been 10 feet tall, and they opened into an opulent reception space with plush carpets and sleek leather chairs. The overall effect was rich and imposing and the bravado that had gotten Kagome this far was fading fast as she furiously berated herself for another instance of brilliant lack of planning. Why did it only occur to her _now_ that she didn't really have a idea of how she wanted this encounter to play out? Didn't have the first clue of what she wanted to say to him, or even what she might hope _he_ said to her.

"He's in his office." A woman behind a large desk chirped, looking up from her computer and regarding Kagome with open curiosity, "You can go on in."

"Well, good luck." Tenchi murmured under his breath and offered her a polite bow.

"By myself?"

The expression of incredulity was brief, but she saw it before the polite professional mask was back, "Sesshoumaru-sama asked that the two of you not be disturbed."

Right. Of course.

She could do this. She'd faced Naraku countless times!

So why was this a thousand times more terrifying? Sesshoumaru wasn't even trying to kill her.

She still might die though. From the way she was shaking and the nausea roiling low in her gut, she was convinced it was a distinct possibility. She was painfully conscious of her own body. Of the weight of each step, each time she blinked, each time she took a shaky breath.

Steeling herself and calling on every ounce of courage she'd built up over the years she reached out and turned the handle.

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**I also promise the next update will be soon!  
**

***Peace y'all***


	20. Confrontation pt2

A/N: a quick update as promised! thank you to everyone who is sticking with me on this story, I love you guys!

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**Confrontation; part 2**

Sesshoumaru was sitting behind a massive wooden desk staring coolly at her; his fingers laced over a stack of paperwork in front of him as she slipped in the door. His office alone was bigger than her entire apartment and two whole walls were floor-to-ceiling windows - affording a breathtaking view of the urban jungle of Tokyo spreading away into the distance.

Instead of the usual sanseveria and crotons there were well-maintained dwarfed pines and maples tucked into corners. Knowing how much scents mattered to inuyoukai it made sense to have pines instead of standard office plants, and with the dark wood paneling and dark wood desk and the sound-muffling plush carpet it likely felt as 'familiar' as a corporate office could, she supposed.

She jumped when the door clicked shut behind her, and then flushed in embarrassment at her own skittishness. An inauspicious beginning to a meeting she would prefer to go into with strength and confidence.

"Kagome." His smooth tone revealed nothing, and neither did the brown eyes and dark hair of his human facade.

This time she didn't ignore how much she disliked looking at him when he was wearing the concealment charm. She _hated_ not being able to see his true face. It just felt…_wrong_.

Kagome shifted, feeling uncomfortable in her own skin, "Um…hi."

Well, this was off to a stellar start. Where was the anger and the exasperation which had propelled her this far? His emotionless gaze and cool demeanor, along with the human face and corporate-bigwig surroundings made her want to shrink in on herself, turn tail, and run more than his terrifying warrior past self ever had.

Just _do_ it Kagome.

"I came to talk." She explained needlessly.

He hummed in the back of his throat, and if possible his face went even blanker.

"I mean, to talk about what happened during golden week."

Something flickered in his gaze and he shifted a file on his desk distractedly, "Hnn."

"Um..." this sure would be a lot easier if he was acting receptive _at all_, though she supposed that getting any sort of vocalization from him was a step in the right direction. Kagome forced herself to take a couple of steps towards the desk, "...um, because, I'm a little confused, honestly. And I thought..." _thought what genius? spit it out! _"I thought we should...talk about everything that's been going on."

Apparently rampant redundancy was going to be the order of the day. Talk about awkward.

Steeling herself and clasping her hands in front of her to try and disguise the fact that they were shaking badly, she propelled herself forward on a burst of daring until she stood directly across the desk from him. She wanted to collapse in the chair that was positioned there, but she determinedly kept herself standing.

She licked her lips, self conscious of his unwavering gaze, and chose to start from solid ground – something she was sure of, just to get the conversation in motion, "So first of all, it was really rude to just…disappear. Rin and Inuyasha had to see me home."

His gaze flicked away and a long tense silence followed. Kagome forced herself to wait it out. Finally he shifted the tiniest amount, "Yes," his voice was a gruff rumble but he shifted his gaze back to her, "I apologize."

"You should apologize to Rin and your brother too."

His eyebrows flicked up at her command, but he inclined his head in acknowledgement.

Kagome untangled her fingers before lacing them back together again, "And Rin and I were talking before I came home and she seemed to think, that is, there are all of these indications that, well, I kept thinking that it must just be youkai stuff that I didn't understand, and, I mean, apparently it _is _but not in the way I initially thought, so now everything's turned upside down again… and…this isn't coming out how I want it to," she took a deep breath and unclasped her hands long enough to tuck her hair behind her ears, and released the breath slowly centering and calming herself in an exercise she hadn't used in years.

Kagome fixed Sesshoumaru with a steady look, "I want to understand what happened, in the kitchen."

Sesshoumaru's lips thinned, "I'm afraid I'm too busy at present to indulge your latent curiosity."

"I really think we need to talk about it." Kagome pressed with quiet insistence.

"As I said – I have many demands on my time. While I'm sure it would be _amusing_ to parse differences between human and youkai expectations, my schedule doesn't allow for it." His chin tilted slightly so he was literally looking down his nose at her, "Perhaps you should make an appointment with my secretary."

Her temper boiled and she had to bite back an instinctive '_Osuwari_!' It was too bad he _wasn't_ wearing some sort of holy subjugation charm – she would love to 'sit' him into next week.

She leaned forward and slammed her hands on his desk, "Listen you arrogant, condescending, son of a bitch – I did NOT come all the way down here so you could foist off more of your emotional constipation on me and make _me_ feel like I'm the one in the wrong again. We can talk now, or not ever."

He appeared unperturbed by her outburst, "Son of a bitch?" he drawled.

"Aaargh!" she threw her hands up and barely refrained from stomping her foot in frustration, "You are such a JERK. I mean it _figuratively_ and you know it. Asshole."

He regarded her placidly and she flushed under his regard.

"And what, in particular, do you wish to speak of."

_Infuriating_ man, he was still pretending ignorance? "You _know_ what."

"Do I?"

No wonder Inuyasha was always calling him names, bastard was _galling,_ "Yeah, you kissed me, dropped me, and then you ran off like a big. Fat. COWARD."

The human illusion before her wavered and she could suddenly feel his youki pushing against the restraint of the charm as he rose to his feet and leaned forward to grit out a threatening, "Watch yourself miko."

"Or what? You'll _glare_ at me _youkai_? It isn't the feudal era anymore you colossal jerkface –threats are only effective when I think you might act on them."

"You are dangerously mistaken if you believe this modern world has _tamed_ me, miko. This Sesshoumaru does not make idle threats."

She barked a laugh, "So go ahead and threaten me! What's it going to be? Good ol' death and dismemberment? Gonna flay the skin from my bones? Find my friends and pick them off one by one while you make me watch?" she made an expansive gesture, "Believe me I've heard 'em all!"

"Blades and claws are not the only ways to destroy something." He hissed.

"Oh _that's _charming, thanks.

Both of them were breathing heavily, glaring at each other across the wide expanse of Sesshoumaru's desk. Distractedly Kagome noticed gouges in the dark walnut stain beneath fingers that appeared human.

As the hot rush of anger waned tears pricked behind her eyes, "Kami, I –" she shook her head with a rueful huff, " - I don't even know why I'm _here_. It seemed like a good idea on the way over, but now I'm not sure if should be yelling at you or apologizing, or what." She laughed unhappily, "I don't even know what I should yell about, or apologize for." She glanced around herself at his office with resignation, "But now I think I realize the problem: this would never work anyway."

His head snapped up and an odd intensity replaced his expression of simmering anger, "_What_?" his voice came out harsher than she'd ever heard it.

"Look at us; we come from completely different worlds. I mean, even if you weren't youkai this wouldn't work!" She gestured around her, at the dark wood paneling and priceless corporate gifts from companies and countries from all over the world. She felt utterly out of place, a sore thumb, an eyesore, "It's not just the youkai and human thing. It's personality, preference, inclination. _Everything_. You and I are too different and…and I don't know what I was even thinking. We can't even _talk_ to one another."

The phone on his desk started ringing, rang through, and fell silent again as they stared at one another without moving.

A strange sense of calm had stolen over Kagome, but she could feel hurt and unhappiness coiling into a knot in her gut.

The phone rang again, cutting the silence, and Sesshoumaru's eyes flicked to it with a frown.

"You should answer that…" she jerked her chin at the phone, "…it's probably someone you actually consider important enough to talk to." Okay, so maybe she wasn't _completely _calm.

His jaw worked for a moment before he grabbed the receiver, "_Taisho_." He snarled.

Kagome afforded him one last level look, turned with all the dignity she could muster, and walked out of his office.

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**So maybe... 3-4 chapters left, and all of them have at least a rough outline down, so the end is in sight! I really really mean it!  
**

***peace y'all***


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